Estonia may have one more Victoria’s Secret model and a more sound debt to GDP ratio than Ireland, but we kick their asses when it comes to Nobel Prize winners. Here’s how the two nations compare when it comes to cold, hard statistics.
Population: Ireland 4.67 million – 1.28 million Estonia
As of July of this year, there were over four and a half million people in Ireland, a figure that is rapidly diminishing given the glut of young people currently leaving our shores for sunnier and more employment-heavy climes.
Despite there being three and a half million fewer people in Estonia, the number of attractive women in the country is widely believed to vastly exceed ours, hence the number of fairweather, bandwagon-hopping fans who have been hotfooting it to Tallinn over the last few days.
FIFA Ranking: Ireland 25 – 59 Estonia
This is the criteria that has made us favourites to progress to Euro 2012 and something that is often trotted out by Mr. Trapattoni when people dare to criticise his regime, even though he rarely mentions the fact that our pretty elevated status owes much to our performances in friendlies that always seem to be at home.
While Ireland’s neighbours in the world rankings include Mexico, Serbia, Turkey and Norway, Estonia have the likes of Honduras, Burkino Faso and Tunisia for company in the high 50s. They’re even eight places below Scotland for God’s sake. With stats like that, you’d assume qualification for Ireland is a no-brainer, but then it’s never that simple is it?
Debt to GDP ratio: Ireland 111% – 6.7 % Estonia
Perhaps an unfair comparison considering that Estonia recorded the lowest debt to GDP ratio in the EU at the end of 2010, but Ireland’s problems appear stark indeed when compared to a country that is the embodiment of frugality. Now if it was against Italy or Greece, Ireland would be on a more level playing field.
Nobel Prize winners: Ireland 6 – 0 Estonia
After a humbling defeat in the last category, we needed something to get back on track and when it comes to the most prestigious prize for cultural and scientific advances, there is no contest.
Before you become ashamed at your inability to remember all of Ireland’s winners, they are as follows: WB Yeats – Literature (1923), GB Shaw – Literature (1925), Ernest Walton – Physics (1951), Samuel Beckett – Literature (1969), Sean MacBride – Peace (1974), Seamus Heaney – Literature (1995).
Number of Victoria Secret models: Ireland 0 – 1 Estonia
It’s hardly a surprise that Ireland fall down in this category, perhaps the only shocking thing is that Estonia don’t have more. Their sole representative to date is Carmen Kass, but don’t judge her by her shocking Wikipedia picture, check out the image below for a better appreciation of her eh, talents.
So, who would you have, Carmen Kass or Georgia Salpa?
Olympic Gold medal winners: Ireland 8 – 9 Estonia
A close run category this one, but it comes with the caveat that three of Ireland’s gold medals come from disgraced, husky-voiced swimmer Michelle Smith, while Estonia had to cope with the slight inconvenience of not actually competing in the Olympics for 56 years while the Russians took over.
Still, we can console ourselves with the fact that six of Estonia’s nine gold medals came from wrestling or weightlifting. They’re not really sports, right?
Record in 2011:
Ireland – Played 12, Won 8, Lost 1, Drawn 3, Goal difference + 16.
Estonia – Played 11, Won 4, Lost 6, Drawn 1, Goal difference – 11
To leave you on a positive note, our final stat is a clear illustration of the gulf in class between the sides and why an albeit stuttering Ireland are clear favourites to progress to Poland and Ukraine next summer. Granted, Estonia’s defeats included away losses to the likes of Uruguay, Chile, Italy and Turkey, but they also lost to the Faroe Islands. The Faroe Islands!
For all Ireland’s problems this year – the sometimes baffling personnel decisions, the lack of a connection with an apathetic Irish footballing public, the mind-numbingly boring football – that is one seriously impressive record.
Over to you lads, let’s get this done.
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