This is going to be a short and sweet final “Five things to watch in the Premier League” of the season because if you haven’t been paying attention you’ve missed a pretty good campaign.
Final day title-race blues?
With both Manchester City and Manchester United throwing away chances to win the title over the last few weeks, City are now in the driving seat.
Although level on 86points with their bitter rivals, City have an eight goal advantage and should win their first league title since 1968.
Fergie has bullishly pointed to the fact that Man United have won on the last day of the season before and that they will do it again. Unfortunately what he neglects to say of those three occasions that they did win (1996, 1999 and 2008) was that United were firmly in the driving seat with their destiny firmly in their own hands. (Wow, that last sentence was very Sky Sports, wasn’t it?)
This time around they need to either improbably make up a eight goal difference on City away to Sunderland, or hope QPR do them a favour by beating or drawing against City.
So in many ways this season is more akin to the 1995 season when Man United’s dominance was threatened by the rich, local upstarts wearing blue – Blackburn…that sounds familiar…
On the last day of the season United needed to win against West Ham and hope Liverpool beat Blackburn.
Blackburn lost, United only drew, so the title went the way of the rich upstarts.
Enough of history and precedent, what about the realpolitik…or whatever… of the day?
Well City face QPR at Eastlands with the Londoners fighting for their Premier League status. A 6-1 loss to Chelsea aside, QPR have got results against Spurs, West Brom and Stoke in the last few weeks and seem to be finally taking this relegation-thing seriously. City were great against Newcastle last week though and will have to bottle it big time to mess this up.
Man United face the tougher task of travelling to the North-East and Sunderland but, with the best thing on offer for the Black Cats being a tenth place finis,h will their minds be on beating United or the summer lounger?
The smart money is on both the Manchester sides to win and for Fergie to expect a very loud house-party to be thrown by the noisy neighbours.
The race for fourth
Every good novel has a beginning, a middle and an end, so goes the trite aphorism.
If Tottenham were a novel it would be a thriller with a barnstorming beginning, then suffer writer’s block before it’s author Harry Redknapp stopped getting distracted and got on with the job at hand.
Newcastle would be the sleeper hit of the year and it’s author Alan Pardew’s unexpected Magnus Opus. On closer analysis it would have a slow, steady start, but have an inspired last few chapters. Will it’s climax live up to the foreplay though?
Arsenal would be a Joycean novel in the fashion of Finnegan’s Wake. Probably brilliant, but utterly incomprehensible and inconsistent at times without a beginning, middle or end. Perhaps by finishing the book its fans will have a sense of satisfaction for having persevered with it.
In the race for Champions League football Tottenham started the brightest, but since Harry was touted for the England job and was in court post Christmas, fell off the rails.
Newcastle have been great throughout the season, but especially in winning eight of their last ten matches.
Arsenal have done it in spurts and starts, inspired by their star players Van Persie, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Walcott.
The last day of the season sees Newcastle with the difficult task of travelling to Everton, the toughest game of the three clubs in contention. They need to win and one of the other clubs to slip up.
Spurs face London rivals Fulham who have had a great season, but nothing much to play for except pride and the chance of finishing above Liverpool.
Arsenal have the tougher task of playing West Brom in the Hawthorns who will want to play well in England-manager-elect Roy Hodgson’s last game in charge and more importantly for their future manager at the club.
The London clubs should do it, but it has been an entertaining fight all season so their might be another twist in the tale yet.
Caveat: If the Chelsea Reserve team, their first team being suspended or injured, win the Champions League final this is all redundant as they will claim a Champions League place at the expense of the side finishing fourth.
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out
Wolves and Blackburn are gone, relegated, finished.
The most boring side in the history of the league, Villa are more than likely safe thanks largely to the efforts of Shay Given and the returning Richard Dunne in their last two matches.
It’s down to Bolton and QPR.
Bolton need to win against a lethargic of late Stoke side, they’re two points behind QPR.
The most important match of the day for glory and survival is the aforementioned Man City versus QPR.
Bolton should beat Stoke given both the stakes and Stoke’s poor performances of late.
If QPR get a result against Man City on the last day of the season, despite their own lethargy and big-spending, then Mark Hughes’ side deserve to stay up for that alone.
Close one to call.
Who gives a s**t?
Unless you are a fan of these sides or a complete football nerd these matches have no meaning whatsoever:
Norwich versus Aston Villa
Swansea versus Liverpool
Wigan versus Wolves
“What about the poignancy of Wolve’s last game of the season and in the Premier league, Norwich and Swansea rounding off great years in front of their home crowds and Andy Carroll’s great form for Liverpool JOE?”
Shut up, leave me alone and enjoy your summer holidays.
Chelsea’s last hurrah…
With many of their established players off this summer and many more suspended for their Champions League final date, it’s probably right to say goodbye to one of the great Premier League sides.
Sure their coveted title of “Most-Hated Club In The League Due To Money-Flashing Sugar Daddy” is long gone to Man City, but the back-bone of this side won three Premier League titles in five years as well as four FA Cups.
In another less cynical era they would all be beloved…except John Terry.
So get ready to say goodbye to Drogba, Malouda, Lampard and maybe Cech, Terry and Di Matteo too.
All matches kick off at 3 O’Clock on Sunday.
Thanks guys and be sure to stick with us for our Euro 2012 coverage, there’s always some football on!
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