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Life

03rd Jul 2015

17 times when it’s impossible for any man to look cool

Including the dreaded 'sex face'

Paul Moore

Can you relate to these?

I’m fairly certain that all of you readers are as slick as Steve McQueen with a healthy dose of James Bond and Andrea Pirlo thrown in for good measure.

This being said, there are certain times when it’s impossible for any man to be cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Here are some of them.
Bond Kiss

1) Sex face

I defy any man to look cool when they’re doing the deed because you’re probably hoping that you look like this…

Hardy Wink

but the reality is more like this…

Samberg Face

while you’re also hoping to avoid this.
Sex Will

2) When your team loses a match

There’s nothing worse than losing a match due to a last minute winner. The worst part though is when people try to tell you that ‘it’s just a game.’ This causes me to lose my s**t even more.

Losing a match in the dying stages is as painful as getting hit in the testicles with a nailgun.

FuckThis

3) Catching someone’s eye

Always two situations here, 1) you were staring at someone too long, they noticed you and and now it’s weird or, 2) you really hope that this person didn’t notice you because you don’t want to talk to them.

Michael-Cera-Awkward-Stare-Around-The-Classroom-In-Superbad-Gif

4) Letting off a fart

“I hope no one notices, I hope no one notices, I hope no one notices. Crap they’re looking at me. Blame someone else!”

Homer Fart

5) Wearing a fanny pack

Even The Rock couldn’t pull it off. Avoid.

therock

6) Kicking with your weak foot

Ever seen a lad that tries to take a shot with their weaker foot? It’s usually as powerful as a mouse fart.

Ball

7) Eating a kebab

They’re amazing after a night out but Christ, they get everywhere when you’re absolutely locked off your face.

Kebab4

8) Drinking from a straw

Personal opinion, this just looks incredibly weird. Even more so when you’re sharing a drink with someone else.

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) and Margaret Dumont (1882 - 1965) in a scene from the Marx Brothers comedy 'A Night At The Opera', directed by Sam Wood, 1935. (Photo by MGM Studios/Bob Thomas/Popperfoto/Getty Images)

9) When people at work surprise you with a birthday cake

“Eh yeah, thanks. Don’t really know what to say here…”

Awkward

10) Changing a nappy

“Christ almighty, that’s even bigger than them!”

Gagging

11) Sweating in the gym

Only Roger Federer can exercise without breaking a sweat. Every other guy looks like this.

airplanesweat

12) Forgetting people’s names

You just instantly want to get away from the situation.

13) Drunk dancing

I’m sure that lots of you are thinking ‘I don’t get drunk, I get amazing.’ You’re probably right but then again, it’s hard to look cool when you’re doing something like this.

Homer Dancing

14) Squeezing past people in a cinema

“Sorry, excuse me, sorry, excuse me.”

Meanwhile, everyone else is rolling their eyes at you, staring at you or cursing your name under their breath.

officeannoyed

15) Sitting in the barber

Your hair looks like it belongs to a wet dog, you’re at the mercy of a man with scissors in their hand and you’re basically wearing a cape.

McGregorHaircut

16) When you’re hungover as f**k

Plans for the day? The biggest effort of the day involves getting off the couch to use the bathroom without passing out.

That pizza can’t come quickly enough because you look like death warmed up.

hangover1

17) Posing for a picture

Here’s why men shouldn’t be in photographs. Preach.

Clip via – Robbie Sherrard

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