We’ve all made them.
I’d wager that the start of the football season will see the return of a classic argument between couples across the land, who gets control of the remote control?
The TV isn’t the only area that can cause some minor friction though but in the end, doesn’t love conquer all? Not always!
How many of these mistakes have you made?
Taking food
In my own experience, I’ve dated some women that probably loved their food more than me. Have you ever taken away some chips or chocolate from your missus when she’s hungry? You’ll get a look that could freeze hell over… twice.
Watching the next episode of a box-set without them
“TV is our time together. OUR time! You couldn’t even wait until I got home to watch it with me”.
Cue men sheepishly slumping out of the room like this.
Not answering the phone
This is usually the start of WW3 because your girlfriend has probably been trying to reach you all day. Why? Well there’s nothing in the fridge for dinner and you’re on the way back from the gym.
“I told you this morning that we needed something for dinner. I tried calling you but you never pick up. Unless you want to eat Weetabix then you’ll get around to the shop now”.
Stealing the duvet
I genuinely believe that every woman takes 95% of the blanket when you’re asleep. They’ll also quietly resent you for the fact that you have the remaining 5%.
If you try and wrestle control of the duvet away from your partner then it might be held against you the next morning.
Questioning the quantity of clothes in the wardrobe
“Sure why do you need to go shopping. You’ve got loads of clothes”.
If you ever say these words then just step…slowly…out…of…the…room.
Falling for the trick question
Your missus: Ok, give me your honest opinion. How do I look?
You: Ya look grand/fine.
Wrong answer.
Making your own tea
A cardinal sin to do when you’re around any Irish person but it becomes doubly damning when it’s with your significant other.
The prodding questions
‘What’s the matter?‘, ‘is there something on your mind?‘ and ‘are you ok?‘.
Many men have spent years trying to decipher the marvelous mystery that is the mind of a woman. The reason why they’re mad at you is because you left the fridge door open on June 27th, 2007 and you never apologised.
Dylan Moran explains this situation perfectly.
Look but don’t touch
Women look at other men. It’s natural and I’ve never lost any sleep over it when I spotted my girlfriends doing it because I know that it’s something that’s mundane.
This being said, it’s almost like there’s another set of rules that apply when a man is caught looking at another woman.
Deny, deny, deny.
Being openly honest
Controversial klaxon alert but but there’s a massive difference between being 100% honest and bending the truth in your favour.
For example, the line ‘sorry honey, I slept on the couch last night because I got home late and didn’t want to wake you’ will play much better than saying ‘I slept downstairs because I had an epic night out with the lads. I got rat-arsed drunk and could barely get the key in the door, nevermind walk up a flight of stairs”.
Choose your battles.
If your relationship is still in a happy and healthy way then these further words of wisdom are definitely worth checking out.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
