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04th Sep 2015

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker: The odd jobs of the Gibraltar national team

The Chipper

Carl Kinsella

Jobs for the boys.

Ireland’s current crop of footballers might not be plying their grade at the sport’s very best clubs, but it’s safe to say that Everton, Southampton and Stoke are still a far cry from where our Gibraltarian opponents spend their weekdays.

We’ve been taking a look at Gibraltar’s likely line-up tonight and doing a bit of research about how they earn a living.

Jordan Perez, Goalkeeper

Goalkeeper Jordan Perez is a fireman for Gibraltar City Fire Brigade. We propose setting up a small fire hazard near his goal tonight to distract him.

firewilly

Ryan Casciaro, Defender

Casciaro, Gibraltar’s most-capped player with 12, is also a member of the emergency services. He’s a cop in the Gibraltar Police Force.

brooklyn 99

Roy Chipolina, Defender

Roy Chipolina, known to his mates as ‘Chipper’ (we assume) is a customs officer. Let’s hope he doesn’t stop our lads at customs, he probably has connections.

Joseph Chipolina, Defender

Joseph Chipolina is not known as ‘Chipper’ because his team-mates don’t like him as much as his brother. He makes his parents proud as an admin clerk.

neutral planet

Aaron Payas, Midfielder

Representing one’s country in football is usually the height of a footballer’s career, but Aaron Payas is a hotshot lawyer at Gibraltar’s biggest law firm. Mr. Big Shot.

i want the truth

Adam Priestley, Forward

Adam Priestley plays for, no word of a lie, ‘Shaw Lane Aquaforce’. We like to imagine that’s in some kind of underwater maritime league we don’t know about. He’s a teacher with Bachelors degree. Ladies.

aquaman

 

Our prediction: 3-0 Gibraltar.

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Topics:

Football