You know that old saying, “women want him, men want to be him”?
Let’s be honest, every now and again we come across some men that force us to thoroughly rethink what it is we want from life, romantically speaking.
We can’t speak for the entire male population here at JOE, but the below is a compilation of some of the men we’d be most happy to end up on a blind date with.
Ian Madigan
When Johnny Sexton left the pitch injured against France the nation collectively wondered if his replacement, Ian Madigan, was up to the job.
I-Madz stepped up to the plate and proved himself capable, courageous and not afraid to cry.
Here’s a man who would throw the rugby ball around with you, never make you feel like less of a man for tearing up at The Notebook, and give you great tips on what to do with your hair.
Awwww, just look at him.
Rugby. It's an emotional sport. And we love it. #RWC2015 #FRAvIREhttps://t.co/OtWti4Vpyr
— Rugby World Cup (@rugbyworldcup) October 11, 2015
Tom Hardy
If you were on Family Fortunes and you were asked to name a common mancrush, we’re pretty sure that Tom Hardy would get you top points.
Say “Tom Hardy” to your mates down the pub and it’s likely that your friends, to a man, will fawn over his performances in The Dark Knight Rises, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Bronson (to name but a few). They might deny it, but they’d be jealous of your date with the 38-year-old.
And just look how kind he’d be to your dog. He’d also have advice on how to get bigger traps.
We’re not selling Tom Hardy here, he’s selling himself.
Clip via Alan Carr: Chatty Man
Cillian Murphy
Unlike many others on this list, Cillian Murphy would probably just sit in silence and stare into your soul across the dinner table, seeing right into the deepest recesses of your essence before suggesting exactly the right thing to watch on Netflix. Something you ever even knew you wanted to see.
Attack On Titan or something mental like that.
He already knows you better than you know yourself.
Shane Long
Goals, guitars and boyish good looks.
Shane Long definitely cleaned up at the local disco back in his Tipperary days.
Mats Hummels, one of the world’s finest defenders, couldn’t even mark Shane Long for the 30 minutes he was on the pitch last Thursday.
Replays show the German got lost in Long’s eyes.
Clip via CamKoski
Eric Cantona
Adding some much needed swagger to this list, Eric Cantona is a man who would definitely get into a fight on your behalf if someone caused you trouble on a night out. Not only that, but we can’t think of anyone else who can deliver a kung-fu kick to someone’s face in such a suave way.
Not that we condone that type of behaviour, of course.
The Frenchman has aged like a fine Chateau d’Yquem Sauternes, and he probably has a bottle or two in his cellar as well.
Clip via Luis Salinas
Bill Murray
Does Bill Murray conform to the society’s conventional standards for beauty? Perhaps not.
Nevertheless, there’s no man with whom we’d rather share a whiskey (two straws, one glass), play a round of golf or retire on a yacht somewhere.
Plus, Scarlett Johansson fell for him in Lost In Translation, and whatever’s good enough for her is more than good enough for us.
Clip via Movieclips
Donald Glover
Donald Glover is a man of many talents. An actor, a stand-up comedian, a rapper and an Emmy Award-winning writer, he truly has it all.
The main thing that would get in the way of this bro-lationship would be our unwavering jealousy of Mr. Glover, who raps under the name Childish Gambino.
Clip via wildliquid
Hozier
We’d be mad to leave the soulful singer-songwriter from Bray out of our mancrush mosaic.
Hozier has one of the finest musical minds to emerge from Ireland in the past decade and no matter who you are, you’d never say no to this man serenading your beneath your window.
And if you would, then you’re the weirdo here, not us.
Clip via HozierVEVO
Jurgen Klopp
Fans of Man United would love to pretend that this man-crush is exclusive to Liverpool fans, but anyone who’s heard the German coach talk about his preference for heavy-metal football, seen him burst into fits of giggles for no reason and celebrate his team’s goals with volcanic passion, knows that Klopp would be a great guy to be around.
Bonus points for looking a bit like Matt Berninger from The National.
Clip via Tony Wyatt
Paul Rudd
JOE has come pretty close to a date with Paul Rudd in the past and it was pretty special. Nevertheless, we’d really like to see him again and it’s kind of been killing us that he never called.
He’s a comedy’s nice guy, guaranteed to make you laugh without ever making you feel insecure.
You have our number, Paul.
Clip via Immackulate1
Andrea Pirlo/Xabi Alonso
Indubitably, they are the two slickest men in world football.
We imagine this scenario as a sitcom situation where we have to juggle dates with both men because both are so perfect, from their beards to their ball-skills (clarification: football skills), that we couldn’t possibly choose between the two.
Clip via Jeep-People
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