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20th Oct 2015

5 useless bits of football trivia that will definitely help you pull on a night out

Sorry, we mean brilliant facts

Colm Boohig

*We’d be shocked if these sweet lines didn’t work.

You’re on the dancefloor giving it socks and then, through the crowd of fun-loving hedonists, you see somebody you fancy. Suddenly, they cast an admiring glance back towards your direction. This could be on!

But now you have to think about what you’re going to say. Dancefloors are loud and cutthroat places, so your opening line is going to have to be good.

What are you gonna go with? ‘You come here often?’ or ‘Hello.’ Nah, these have been done already and almost never work.

Instead, why not try these football trivia gems and have them fall head over heels for you.

(Don’t worry, we have the exact scenarios outlined here, so all you have to do is learn these off).

The remarkable Robert Earnshaw fact

Rob Earnshaw

“Hey girl, can you tell me what Welsh striker Robert Earnshaw is most famous for?”

“What?!”

“I said, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT WELSH STRIKER ROBERT EARNSHAW IS MOST FAMOUS FOR?”

“Who’s Robert Earnshaw?” (Don’t panic, she of course knows who Rob Earnshaw is)

“Well, he is the only player to have scored hat-tricks in the Premier League, the Championship, League One, League Two, the FA Cup, the League Cup, and in an international match. Now, that’s a fact.”

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Congratulations, you’ve pulled.

The man behind the captain fact

Fussball: CL 03/04, FC Bayern Muenchen-Real Madrid

“Hey there, I saw you from across the dancefloor.”

“….. “

(She must not have heard you. Keep calm and continue talking.)

“Anyway, do you know which England manager first named David Beckham as England captain?”

“Get away from me you cre…”

“No, no! This is interesting. Contrary to popular guesses, the answer is actually caretaker manager Peter Taylor, who named Beckham as the skipper for the first time when England played Italy in November 2000. Now, that’s a fact.”

“…. okay….”

giphy (67)

Congratulations, you’ve pulled.

The Golden Goal quiz question

Oliver Bierhoff

“Oh, hey.” (You’ve been approached on this occasion)

“Hi.”

“So, what’s your name?”

“Do you know who scored the first ever Golden Goal in international football history?” (You’ve jumped the gun a bit on this one, but you’re still in there)

“What do you mean by Golden Goal?”

“Hahaha, you’re funny. The answer is Oliver Bierhoff for Germany against the Czech Republic in the Euro ’96 Final at Wembley. Now, that’s a fact.”

giphy (64)

Congratulations, you’ve pulled.

The amazing Steve Finnan fact

DUBLIN, IRELAND - NOVEMBER 15: Steve Finnan of Ireland in action during the Euro2008 Group D Qualifier between the Republic of Ireland and San Marino at Lansdowne Road on November 15, 2006 in Dublin, Ireland. (Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)

“Sup (careful with the lingo), you look like an Irish legend (nice save), just like Steve Finnan.”

“Aw, thanks. I’m a huge Liverpool fan so I love Steve Finnan, seen him play a few times, in fact.” (Uh-oh, she knows too much. Get that fact in there quickly)

“Steve Finnan is the only player to have played in every league, from the Conference to the Premier League, the Uefa Cup, Champions League and a World Cup. Now, that’s a fact.”

“Yeah, I knew that already. Everyone knows that, Jesus. But, I do love Steve Finnan, so… “

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Congratulations, you’ve pulled.

Finally, if you’re personally responsible for the fascinating fact then don’t be afraid to gloat, women love that. Here’s an example…

“Hey, I’m Kevin Lisbie.”

“Hi, Kevin.”

“Ha, you don’t recognise me, do you?”

“I’m afraid I don’t, no.”

“Well, I’m the Kevin Lisbie. You might remember me from scoring THAT hat-trick for Charlton against Liverpool, it was huge news at the time. Ring any bells?

“No.”

“Alright, well watch this… *proceeds to take out phone*

Clip via goodkarma84’s channel

“Look familiar?”

“No. I gotta go…”

It doesn’t always work. Congratulations though, because you’re still Kevin Lisbie.

So there you have it, your foolproof guide to pulling the next time you’re in Coppers.

*Will absolutely never work.

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