More awkward than a fart in mass.
No matter how cool, calm and collected you are, there are certain scenarios that cause everyone to lose their chill…unless you’re Samuel L. Jackson because he’s cooler than the other side of Pirlo’s pillow.
I’m fairly certain that you’ve never went for a walk with your dog and accidentally stumbled across two strangers having sex in a car but this is exactly what happened to author Joe Craig recently. As is the norm nowadays, he felt that this story was too good not to share.
Here’s how it started.
I heard muffled screaming & saw the boot of a car rattling. Oh no, I thought – someone's trapped in the boot!
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
Being the good Samaritan, he went over to inspect. But…
My rushed up to the car, pulling my dog with me. The whole car was rattling. "I have to set this person free!" I thought. BUT…
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
..let the sexy time begin.
The woman was naked.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
Naturally, she wasn’t alone.
Except now she was no longer screaming, because she was looking up at me, horrified. As was the man. I was holding the boot open.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
Things get awkward, fast.
…the rattling. But I see now you don't need my help. Either of you. And that this is the good kind of screaming. Sorry. Do carry on."
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
At least he’s friendly.
I also wanted to offer a little encouragement.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
Who doesn’t love dogs?
My dog jumped into the boot. Sort of next-to (but mainly on-top-of) the faces of the two copulating strangers.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
It gets more awkward.
Obviously I can't undo Harpo's training, so I said, "Good boy."
Which I think gave the wrong impression.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
Time to make a quick getaway.
And THAT is the funny thing that happened to me the other night, with my dog, in East Finchley.
— Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016
How can we end this story? Well…
@joecraiguk Give that dog another bone.
Excellent.— Stephen #WearAMask #WashYourHands (@ISayPorter) January 28, 2016
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