Tuesday.
The second day of the traditional week.
Things don’t feel terribly traditional lately but we can always look to a movie or two for a necessary distraction.
Here are the most intriguing cinematic options on your television on Tuesday 24 March…
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events – Film 4 – 6.55pm
Jim Carrey chews the scenery in this dark gothic family comedy.
Ride Along 2 – E4 – 8pm
The second one.
Alien Covenant – Film 4 – 9pm
The bit where the xenomorph smashes its head off a windscreen as if it were a lairy football hooligan? Great job, Ridley.
Ransom – ITV4 – 9pm
Mel Gibson turns the tables on evil kidnappers. Good film, if you can accept Mel Gibson as a noble hero these days.
The Enforcer – TCM – 9pm
Dirty Harry adventure (the third one) in which Clint Eastwood’s trigger-happy lawman is forced to team up with a woman. A woman! Can you believe it? He certainly can’t.
US Marshals – TCM – 11.05pm
The Fugitive is a great movie. The sequel? Not so much, but look, there’s not much on tonight and maybe you need the dulcet tones of Tommy Lee Jones.
Die Hard 2 – Film 4 – 11.20pm
John McClane goes to an airport. It doesn’t go well.
Enter the Dragon – ITV4 – 11.25pm
Vintage martial arts adventure with the legendary Bruce Lee.
The Paperboy – Channel 4 – 1.35am
Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack and Matthew McConaughey head up a seriously tacky adult thriller about lust and murder and such.
One of those notably terrible films in which every actor makes all the wrong choices at 110% speed and thus a definite recommend if you’re still up.
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