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26th Jul 2010

Transfer window: Beckham, Torres, Van der Vaart and … Djemba-Djemba

For JOE's latest transfer window feature, we bring you the best of today's rumours and gossip.

JOE

For JOE’s latest transfer window feature, we bring you the best of today’s transfer rumours and gossip.

By Conor Hogan

There is a world of difference between facts and rumours.

Fact: The average orbital speed of the Earth is 107,200 km/h.

Rumour: Arsenal are to bid £12 million for the new Didier Drogba, 17-year-old Belgian Romalu Lukaku.

Fact: The oldest ever fish was a Koi Carp called Hanako, who died at the age of 226 in 1977.

Rumour: Ashley Young is to join Tottenham Hotspur for £30 million.

West Brom target ‘new Roy Keane‘.

Sometimes rumours look likely to turn into facts, such as ‘Schalke to sign Raul,’ others such as ‘West Brom to target Eric Djemba Djemba’ sound too incredible to be possibly true.

The 29-year-old Cameroonian, who was so bad they named him twice, played 30 Premier League games in four years for Manchester United and Aston Villa, and has spent the last couple of years in Denmark with Odense BK.

Raul, meanwhile, has given an emotional goodbye in a press conference in front of the Spanish media. The Champions League record goalscorer played 741 matches for Real Madrid and scored 323 goals.

Coventry City manager Aidy Boothroyd wants to sign lovely guy Marlon King as soon as he completes his 18 month prison sentence for sexual assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm.

West Ham are to make a sensational move for the apparent amnesiac David Beckham. That’s the same West Ham whose fans hanged an effigy of Beckham after his red card at the ’98 World Cup. The Hammers are also targeting Ronaldinho apparently.

Former Dartford and Stevenage manager Peter Taylor is favourite to be the Englishman appointed on Fabio Capello’s coaching staff, while Football Manager superstar Rafael van der Vaart has told Liverpool to ‘come and get me.’

Another Dutch Real Madrid man, Royston Drenthe has stated on his Facebook page, “I will soon be joining Liverpool Fc . Hope i will have a good season there :)”

Tottenham, who will name Aston Villa target Robbie Keane in their 25-man squad, are set to bid £10 million for Phil Jagielka. Blackburn are after 22-year-old Norwegian striker Nicki Billie Nielsen, and Sampdoria want Man City’s Vladamir Weiss jr.

Man City are in a rush to sell as many players as they can, as they will only be allowed to register 25 under new Premier League rules. They currently have 37 first team squad players on their books.

Despite this, Roberto Mancini has his heart set on Fernando Torres, and may still make a £50 million offer for the Spaniard.

Hull City are so desperate to offload Jamie Bullard that they have left him out of all of their pre-season games for fear he might get injured.

SPL in a bucket

Rangers want James Beattie to replace Kris Boyd, while Aberdeen are to sign former Take That member Robbie Williams on a free transfer from Huddersfield Town.

Celtic, meanwhile, are considering a move for 17-year-old Alex Schalk for £44,000. Schalk plays for Dutch Eredivisie club NAC Breda, who used to be managed by Ben Affleck.

Not that Ben Affleck

Celtic have had a busy summer so far, having signed Charlie Mulgrew, Cha Du Ri, Joe Ledley, Daryl Murphy, Efrain Juarez, and Gary Hooper from Scunthorpe. They are also favourites for David James‘ signature.

Other rumours

Real Madrid, like they need any more players, could make a bid for Juventus striker Amauri. Madrid are also tracking Athletic Bilbao defender Fernando Amorebieta.

Wolfsburg forward Grafite is set to sign for Rubin Kazan as well as all over Tartarstanian walls. Newcastle United target Hatem Ben Arfa looks likely to get sense and join AC Milan on loan instead of the Toon Army, while former Plymouth Argyle striker Emile Mpenza is having a trial with Dutch giants Ajax.

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Topics:

Football