Brought to you by Sprite Brutally Refreshing.
Every student in Ireland leaves university with unique memories and experiences…
But part of what strengthens your bond to your alma mater is the experiences you share with almost every other student who walks through the door (or in Trinity’s case, a big huge arch).
Thousands of students will begin their collegiate careers in Trinity College, Dublin this autumn – so we’ve compiled a handy list of things that only Trinity College students know to be true.
1) You’ll be hearing THAT joke for the rest of your life
You know the one. Somebody asks you where you went to college, so you tell them. Then they say “how do you know someone went to Trinity? They tell you!”
The only way around this is to refuse to tell people where you went to college when they ask, or simply tell them you went to an imaginary college in a different country.
2) The rivalry with UCD is largely fictional
You hear a lot of talk about Trinity’s age-old rivalry with UCD, but pretty much none of that talk takes place with in the environs of College Green.
If someone ever wants you to say something bad about UCD, a handy go-to is that it’s “too big”. That should satisfy them.
3) Front Square during Fresher’s Week is the best kind of overwhelming
Your first week in Trinity will be spent in the college’s Front Square where societies ranging from Afro-Caribbean Soc to Zoological Soc will take advantage of Bambi-eyed naivety and pressure you into forking over a €4 euro membership fee.
Luckily that usually entitles you to free stuff and entry into plenty of fun events. In fact, many Trinity students will end up getting a lot of their student societies…
4) Societies are more important than class in so many ways
Class is crucial for a few reasons, like being equipped to pass your exams and eventually graduate, but a lot of your development is done in societies.
Societies are places where students can meet like-minded people in a far more relaxed and social setting and it’s where a lot of students not only make their friends, but pick up extra-curricular skills that are valuable once it comes time to find a job.
5) Your Dublin diet will be dictated by 2-for-1 deals
You get used to a few perks as a student, and one of those is 2-for-1 meal deals across many of Dublin City’s restaurants – this is great because it cuts prices in half, but also limits how many of the cities eateries you actually end up exploring.
This all evaporates once your various student cards expire, and you’re tossed back into a cold world where you need to pay full price for meals once more.
6) Trinity College is not its full name, not even close
Trinity College’s full, legal name is “The Provost, Fellows, Foundation Scholars and the other members of Board, of the College of the Holy and Undivided Trinity of Queen Elizabeth near Dublin”… or TPFFSATMOBOTCOTHAUTOQEND, which is what you’ll call it because you’ll be so busy.
7) There are an infinite number of places on campus to sleep
And it’s entirely possible that you will familiarise yourself with all of them. The vast majority of society rooms come equipped with couches, and there are even more couches to be found in the college’s Arts Block.
You can continue to avail of many of these, even after you’re finished in college, but you will be regarded by everyone on earth as a total creepazoid.
8) Exam season turns the library into Battle Royale
Exam season is a time for your survival skills to come to the fore. Spend some of peacetime staking out seats that will serve you well (close to plug sockets and toilets), and then make sure to wake up many hours before the library opens. People are vicious – try to reserve a space for too long with your books or your coat and you will likely find them thrown out the nearest window.
Your best bet is to build a network of informants make friends who will be scattered throughout the library and well-placed to inform you when seats open up, thus maximising time spent in bed.
9) 50% college, 50% tourist attraction
Surprisingly, Front Square’s cobbles aren’t the biggest obstacle to navigating one’s way around the college – it’s the endless swathe of tourists from every corner of the earth. Any student who spends the full four years in Trinity knows they’ve ended up making cameos in the photo albums of thousands of Chinese, American and Spanish holidaymakers.
10) You will end up owing the library a lot of money
Taking a book out of the library and bringing it back within at least a week (and up to seven weeks) should not be a challenge, and yet some students end up owing the library sums of money in the triple digits by the time graduation rolls around.
11) All three of your grandmothers will die
There is only one foolproof way to convince your lecturers to let you away with handing in your essays late – the dead granny. Unfortunately, dead grannies rarely if ever coincide with essay deadlines, so you might have to get creative with your grandmother’s health (as well as how many of them you have).
Share your truths and follow the conversation at #BrutallyRefreshing.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
