ALWAYS drink responsibly, but people usually drink like this…
It’s the weekend, which means that quite a fair few people will be relaxing with a few drinks and unwinding after a hard week in work.
There’s always a few stages on the beer that most Irish people find themselves in and here’s just a few that come to mind.
1) The dignified stage
It’s only 10pm so any conversation between you and your mates is usually drowned out by the sound of FIFA video game commentary and the music playing from your iPod dock.
The irony is that your mates could be telling you something really important but it’s falling on deaf ears because all your attention is on scoring the next goal.
The golden rule, any break in play is filled by a drink.
2) Time’s creeping up
All of a sudden, you look at your watch and realise that it’s 11.30pm. Cue those panicked thoughts that town will instantly empty unless you finish all your drinks and hail a taxi into town before midnight.
It’s like if Cinderella was set in Ireland, some people end up losing shoes regardless and have to improvise.
3) Waiting shots
It seems like the taxi is taking an eternity to reach your place so there’s no better way to pass the time than with one of these.
4) The long walk
Lets face it, the walk from your home to the taxi outside/bus stop is so far that you’ll work up a bigger thirst than Moses in the desert.
We all have one friend who takes about 5 cans in his pockets for the trip.
5) Hide and sneak
This one takes a little bit of mischief and guile.
Your mate that’s sitting in the front seat of the taxi needs to to distract the driver with some inane shite talk thus allowing anyone in the back-seat to enjoy their sneaky ‘road cans’.
6) The club warm-up
As soon as most lads walk into a bar or club, their first thought is to instantly head to the bar. It’s like there’s a magnet on the beer taps that’s pulling these sauce warriors in their direction.
We all have that friend who would probably walk past a smiling Jennifer Lawrence or Ryan Gosling just so they could get a drink in.
There’s absolutely no conversation going on because most people are busy trying to look cool, checking out the talent in the room, or queuing.
7) Walk around drink
Ok, so you’ve used up your entire ‘normal’ conversation with your mates so it’s time to walk around the area and seek out some madness.
You can always spot those people in bars who just feel like they need to have a drink in their hand just so they can avoid any suspicious glances from other patrons.
This drink is more like a prop than a beverage.
8) The long pint
You and your friends have settled on an area to call your own for the evening. All you need is a name and your own secret drunk language to make it official, so it’s time to settle down for the evening and let the madness unfold.
9) The flirty drink
We’re certain that all our readers are smooth-talking charmers but we’ve all bought someone we fancy a drink at some point.
10) The turning point
This stage usually involves consuming a shot that’s going to turn tomorrow morning’s mild headache into a full-blown hangover.
On the plus side, it’s usually the moment when your mate who always acts the maggot with a few drinks starts living up to their reputation.
There may be dancing also.
11) The rushed one
Howe many times have you ordered a drink, picked it up, taken one gulp and then instantly been asked by a member of staff to ‘take your drinks closer to the door, we’re closing this side of the bar’.
Granted, if bar staff didn’t put a rush on then we might never leave, but it’s infuriating at times.
12) The after party
Anything goes here and if one of your mates has something to drink in their home then they’re looked on as if they were a heroic mix of Father Jack, Chuck Norris and Jack Charlton.
13) The hair of the dog
Some people swear by it but then again these people are usually the first people at the bar to begin with.
They’re messers that are not to be trusted. Then again than can be great craic.
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