How many have you tried?
I’m certain that all of you are trustworthy and honest people but every single one of you has lied to your parents at some point.
Let’s be honest, it’s part of the job spec that comes with being a child but parents have their own tricks also.
We’ve all told a few little white lies to avoid landing in a world of trouble but how many of these situations and answers relate to you?
When you’re caught red-handed.
‘He told me to do it’.
Yeah because your older brother has Jedi mind-trick powers that cause you to lose the way of yourself.
Your parents find something broken.
‘It was like that when I got here.’
Things in empty rooms always magically break themselves.
Getting caught saying a curse word by your folks.
‘I heard it from..’
Passing the buck has never been easier. It still wouldn’t change your parents’ one-track mind on disciplining you though. Nothing will.
When your mam asks you if you actually went to mass.
‘It was the gospel from eh Mark/Luke/John/insert any name that sounds holy’.
God love my ma, she tried to make me go to Mass but like an absolute heathen I ended up on the mitch.
Your parents are shocked that you do crap in a test.
‘It was a surprise test and it was impossible. Everyone failed it.’
Sure, this result has nothing to do with the fact that you weren’t arsed studying. It’s not your fault though, those old episodes of The Simpsons are just too good.
If you’re caught fighting with your siblings.
‘They started it.’
Cue the textbook answer ‘I don’t care who started it once it’s ended. You’re both in trouble.’
In my case, it was always someone else that started it.
Wanting what you can’t have.
‘Everyone else is doing it/has it/seen it.’
You know what the reply is;
Parents: ‘If everyone else was jumping off a bridge would you do it also?’
You: ‘If it meant I got my way, then yes.’
When you have something that your folks think is suspicious.
‘Found it in a field.’
Just ignore the fact that the nearest field/forest or grouping of trees is 20 minutes away from you.
Questions asked about arriving home late for dinner
‘In a friend’s house.’
You were actually shifting the person that you fancied at the time.
Explaining why you’re hungover
‘I think I had a dodgy pint.’
Yep, it has nothing to do with the 14 of them that came after.
Suspicious inquiry as to why you’re playing football and not studying.
‘I did my homework in school’, ‘teacher was sick’ or ‘got no homework today.’
FYI, your parents were young once also. A fact that I frequently forgot.
Asking for money so you can buy curry chips at lunch.
‘I need money for tech-drawing sheets and equipment.’
To be fair, this one usually worked.
Talking your way out of housework.
‘I did that yesterday.’
Never works. Get the mop.
Throwing your siblings under the bus with you.
‘He never has to do it.’
This results in your brother/sister also having to help out around the house while they secretly form a plan to get their revenge on you.
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