There’s definitely something for you here.
I’m very aware that the following sentence sounds like something that any Irish auld lad will say but Christ almighty, hasn’t the weather turned awful this week?
After chatting to a few folk, it seems that a lot of Irish people are also getting that familiar feeling when they wake up and are about to take that first step outside of their door and face the cold world. In your head you’re saying to yourself ‘what’s the point? Really, why am I even bothering to leave the house? Feck this!’.
With this in mind, here are some moments when it’s totally acceptable to say f**k it and leave accordingly.
1) Weather
Face the truth, it’s not going to get any better. F**k it, just stay on the couch and watch Netflix. The best thing to do here is to try and kid yourself that it’s what your boss, Bruce Springsteen or Jesus would do also.
2) Queues
You really need a coffee, you walk into a store but instantly see 10 people that are queuing to use the one coffee machine. This is the only response.
3) Work
This is the only appropriate reply when your boss gives you what seems like a never ending pile of work to do.
This can also be used when you come back from your holidays and are greeted with about 7,432 unread emails in your inbox.
4) Hungover
Anyone that tries to tell you that ‘you brought this on yourself’ deserves to be hit across the head with a wet fish.
Why are they pointing out the obvious when they could be making you tea and making you a breakfast role?
5) Transportation
If you’re standing in the cold and a bus drives past you but doesn’t stop, usually due to overcrowding or something, then this is the appropriate gesture.
6) Talking to someone dull
Have you ever found yourself in the following situation. You’re out with a friend and some randomers. Naturally, because you’re a nice person, you try and make conversation with the people that you don’t know.
That’s a big mistake if this person turns out to be an absolute trout of no craic. In this case you’re 100% allowed to bail on them.
7) College assignments
Have you ever felt like you’ve been looking at a book or a passage of text for so long that the words no longer make any sense?
If this happens then there’s only one remedy, say ‘feck it’ and head straight to the bar because nothing else will stick in your brain for the day.
8) Indecisive people
Me: What do you want to watch?
Her: I’m ok with anything, really.
Me: What about Skyfall?
Her: I’m not in the mood for an action film.
Me: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
Her: It’s just a bit ‘too’ funny for me. I’m not really in that mood.
In your head: (I’m going to strangle this person)
9) Argument with morons
As the old saying goes ‘you can bring a horse to water but sometimes this horse is also a fu**ing idiot that’s about as dumb as a box of hair, so there really is no point in wasting your breath’.
It’s a great saying.
10) Losing a match
Your team has just lost with the last kick of the ball. Apt.
11) Photos from holidays
I get it. You’re on holidays and I’m stuck in Ireland. Whoopty fu**in’ doo. This person is now blocked from appearing in your timeline until they return home.
— Hot Dogs Or Legs? (@HotDogs_OrLegs) September 30, 2013
12) People that make shit plans
When your friends want to play football at the same time that Ireland v Argentina is on.
13) Overly expensive stuff
Ever fancied having some lunch and decided to take a look at the menu outside of a restaurant? €15 for a feckin’ sandwich! Na, sod that. I’ll just get a chicken fillet roll from the deli.
14) When bed is at its most bedtastic
If it’s a Saturday and your bed is currently the best thing in the world then feck anyone that might consider you lazy for not getting out of it. Bed is god.
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