Kris Kindle present: check. Outlandish Christmas jumper: check. A list of acceptable conversations to have with the boss: check.
So you think you’re ready for the Christmas party? Well, we’re afraid you’re not quite there yet.
Christmas parties are to co-workers what a full moon is to a werewolf. They transform them completely, and not just the hairy beastly ones.
But don’t fret, as JOE guides you through all of the different types of people you can expect to encounter at your office get together.
The so-called quiet one
This person is known as Mr/Mrs Reliable in the office. Their stand-out qualities in the workplace include that they’re really, really good at photocopying.
That’s until they hit the town for the Christmas party. They transform into a wonderful mixture of a comedian, dancer and all round craic-haver.
How to spot: They’re the ones who are crowd surfing… in the restaurant.
Most dangerous when: Back at their spiritual home of the photocopier. Don’t upset their balance. Their inner party animal only wants out once a year.
The one you cannot get away from
This person is undoubtedly an avid lover of cats… or stamps… or something equally as mind-numbing when spoken about a length. And my, oh my, do these guys love speaking about theses subjects at length.
How to spot: Listen for the collective sighs from an audience listening to stories about cats/stamps/Baltic-electro-jazz.
Most dangerous when: Asked anything resembling a question. Prepare for the most long-winded answer you shall ever hear.
The early leaver
Unfortunately the early leaver and the one you cannot get away from are rarely the same person. The early leaver is the person who has the super power of hindsight… and we all hate them for it. Worse still, they’ll be full of chat the following day.
How to spot: In work the following morning, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Most dangerous when: In work the following morning, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
The one you fancy
You’re like a sheepdog trying to guide all of your conversations to the mistletoe. Play it cool… no, they won’t be impressed by the amount of mince pies you can eat.
How to spot: You don’t need any help with this.
Most dangerous when: Meeting you in the office corridor the following day.
The one who fancies you
This person is standing right beside you at the mistletoe. Probably staring… and waiting.
How to spot: Oh don’t you worry, they’ll find you.
Most dangerous when: They spot the person you fancy.
The cheapskate
As annual as Christmas, this person forgets their wallet at every single office party. It’s OK, you’ll pay for their ticket into the club (and their cloakroom ticket and taxi home) and they’ll get you back the following day.
How to spot: Usually doing the forgotten wallet dance: “You check your right pocket once, your left pocket twice…”
Most dangerous when: Don’t worry, you probably won’t see this person again for a while.
It’s Clonmel 1650’s first Christmas and we are a little bit excited. They produce a 100% pure Irish larger which is absolutely delicous and are offering some fantastic festive give-aways on the Twitter at the moment.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
