A reading from the gospel according to JOE…
As all of you know, living with others (who don’t at least pretend to love you) isn’t always easy.
Particularly when your housemate buys the expensive biscuits and LEAVES THEM RIGHT THERE… like seriously, is this a test or something?
Anyway, JOE has decided it’s time to put together some rules, or commandments if you will, on how to be a great housemate.
1. Thou shalt have no other BODs
There is only one Brian O’Driscoll, so don’t start suggesting that Tuilagi, Roberts or any other centre was ever as good as him.
If your housemates can’t agree on a commandment as basic as this, move away from these BODless folk immediately.
2. Thou shalt not display county or provincial colours in the common area
We don’t care if you bought your Longford flag that infamous day when you defeated Derry last summer.
Your housemate is a Westmeath man and has no time for that lark in his sitting room.
3. Remember the Black Sabbath day
JOE loves classic rock as much as the next guy, but it has to have its place.
If your housemate has an exam coming up then remember the Black Sabbath day has to wait, as it’s scientifically impossible to concentrate while Ozzy Osbourne is singing.
This rule also applies to AC/DC, Def Leppard, or any other band that have questionable hair cuts and electric guitars.
4. Honour thy father and thy mother
By not bringing home enough dirty laundry to fill the Grand Canyon.
5. Thou shalt not kill the buzz
With stories about what you bench-press, how many points you scored at the weekend or why you should be playing for the county but are not (politics).
6. Thou Shalt not covet thy housemate’s girlfriend
Yes, she was in to you first but this is not Vietnam, there are rules…
7. Thou shalt not steal
The last drop of milk, toilet roll or even those damn biscuits.
8. Honour thy landlord
Filling the hole in the wall with Polyfilla and Weetabix won’t get you your deposit back… Look after the gaff and don’t be a bad tenant.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s Xbox, HD TV or colour-coded lecture notes
As tempting as it may be, “borrowing” any of your neighbours’ stuff is likely to cause tension in the house when your housemate takes sides.
10. Thou shalt not commit house-hunting adultery
If you’re planning on moving out, don’t go looking at other places without telling your housemate first.This will only cause a huge rift and tension if you end up staying put.
Perhaps all these rules are too much for you… Why not visit home this weekend and get some comforts. You can avail of discounted rates on IrishRail.ie. Click here to book.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
