Left, left, left, right, left.
No, this isn’t a military march. It’s JOE’s usual activity while on Tinder.
Occasionally things go right (pun intended) and we plan a date with our match.
We get ready, throw on a bucket of aftershave and head out the door full of optimism.
There’s nothing quite like reality to slash our expectations. Here’s our Tinder date experience.
Expectation: They’ll look exactly like their Tinder photo.
Reality: It turns out that photo was from their college yearbook… they graduated in 1989.
Expectation: They’ll not mind that you don’t look EXACTLY Tinder your photo.
Reality: Regretting using that photo of a young Paul Newman now, aren’t you?
Expectation: You rolled out some of your A-material on Tinder, it went down a storm, so you’ll have loads to talk about.
Reality: “So… did you, mmm, the weather, eh?”
Expectation: You met them online, so the two of you probably don’t know any of the same people.
Reality: “What’s that? You made your confirmation with my ex. Brilliant.”
Expectation: You’ll have thousands of matches. You’ll have to get loads of mobiles and a new server to keep up.
Reality: One pity match and you’re pretty sure it’s your ex.
Expectation: This will probably lead to sexy time back at your gaf with her.
Reality: You’re back on your own couch in time to watch the end of Republic of Telly… on your own.
Expectation: The person is the same sex as their profile says they are.
Reality: Paula is actually Paul and Enda is actually Edna.
Expectation: They’re clearly gorgeous and they send the cutest messages. The two of you are going to get on like a house on fire.
Reality: They also have the most annoying voice/accent ever heard. Bloody Internet…
That’s our refreshing truth about Tinder dates.
Would you like to hear four of Ireland’s best comedians telling their refreshing truth?
JOE, with thanks to Sprite, are bringing Hilary Rose, The Viper, Eric Lalor and Karl Spain to NUI Maynooth on Thursday, March 26 for The Sprite Refreshing Truth Tour.
For more information, dates of the events and your chance to win some epic prizes, click here.
Sprite, the truth is refreshing.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
