They say ‘you can’t choose your family’, but you can certainly choose your beer. So JOE sat down for a brief word with Ireland’s latest brewing family, The McGargles.
While the island of Leannclann might be too small to see on any map, that includes Google Maps (so don’t bother trying), it’s still big enough for a few cantankerous auld ones, swearing dwarves, flirty daughters, and the out-of-control hippies that call themselves the McGargles.
This family of distinguished brewers have never ‘established’ themselves, so to speak, but they’ve brewed informally in a bathtub on an island off a coast of Ireland for years. The McGargles remind us of that undeniable dysfunctional element that exists within every Irish family, which is probably something you know all too well about… probably.
In the case of the McGargles, we see every dysfunctional element wrapped up in one place. So we decided to see what exactly was going on in the McGargles household by having a brief chat with the entire family.
Firstly, we wanted to find out a bit about the family’s backstory, so we approached the matriarch of the household, Granny Mary, for a few words.
Sadly, Granny Mary, who’s fond of a good Red Ale, raised an eyebrow and a wry smile before she let off an absolutely atrocious fart just as we knelt down to have a quiet word, so we doubled back quicker than a sober man who’s about to walk into Coppers at 1.55am. We’re glad we did too, as it’s said she “once knocked a fly off a cows arse with half a glance”.
Next we turned to Papa Joe, the master brewer whose beer is as rare as his presence in the McGargles household. Before we had a chance to ask him about the family and their brewing roots in Leannclann, Joe was off wandering around the back garden with his feathered friend ‘Gob’ searching for the best ingredients for his Special Brew. He also took a look around JOE’s car while he was outside and there were a few Euros missing from the centre console when we got back in – but we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt… for now.
We finally got a word in edgeways with the live-in uncle of the family, Ned, better known as ‘Knock Knock’ Ned, because like his brew, Ned spent years entertaining crews of Merchant Seamen. Ned, a world-renowned pirate impersonator with his two wooden legs, would hardly sit still while we talked about his favourite drink, Knock Knock Ned’s Indian Pale Ale. However, it didn’t take long before the shouty-short-arse forget the question at hand, so he just started merrily singing sea shanties like the good ol’ days.
After running out of luck with Granny Mary, Papa Joe and Knock Knock Ned, we turned to the sultry daughter of the household, Gravy Maevey (who was constantly giving JOE the eye… just sayin’). Just as we were about to serenade the lovely Gravy Maevey with completely made up stories about being snipers in the US Marines, Granny Mary pulled us aside to let us know that the family calls her “Gravy Maevey” because she’s thick, a bit saucy and just like her Pilsner, she goes with anything. Apparently, she’s the type of girl you can take home, just not the type of girl you can introduce to your mammy… Oh.
Before we knew it, Gravy Maevey was off looking for trouble down in the village in Leannclann – there’s only the one on the island – and we were left to find our own way back to the ferry. However, when we left Leannclann we couldn’t help shake the feeling that the McGargles felt like our own family, and that’s without us saying a word to any of them…
To find out more about this dysfunctional, yet fully functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out, mcgargles.com.
www.mcgargles.com.
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