It’s safe, very safe, but the innovative, attractive, all-new Volvo S60 also drives like a dream and is anything but dull.
It’s not every day that you’re asked by someone to get into their car and asked to aim at someone they’ve got to stand in the middle of the road. It’s all the more strange when the person asking you to instigate a collision is the Managing Director of a major car manufacturer and he’s sitting next to you in the car.
Truth is, it’s almost impossible to drive at someone and not apply the brakes. You spend years getting into the habit of doing the complete opposite, and thankfully so.
But I’ve a job to do, and there’s currently someone (well a crash test dummy) wearing a fetching red jumper, standing in front of me. If I hit him/it, I won’t injure him/it (which is reassuring) but I will certainly damage the shiny new car I’m in. A car so shiny it’s only just been made available to Irish motorists.
The car in question is the new Volvo S60 and the man sitting next to me is Volvo Ireland’s MD David Baddeley who, like some demented driving examiner who’s got the emergency stop schtick the wrong way round, is asking me to plough into the dummy.
And so I drive at the dummy trying to keep my speed at around 15km/h and trying not to so much as feather the brakes.
Just as we get uncomfortably close to the dummy, a red light urging me to stop flashes up in front of me on the windscreen. I ignore this, as instructed, and a second later the car automatically brakes and the car comes to a halt; the car and dummy unharmed.
It turns out that there’s a camera behind the rear view mirror that’s been programmed to recognise the human form if it appears in front of the car and to react if it’s safe to do so (i.e. if you’re doing 70 km/h the system won’t engage as braking sharply would endanger the driver). All very clever.
Forget about it
It’s a nifty bit of technology that makes a car already fitted with many safety features even safer. Unlike most other safety features, this is something that not just adds to the safety of the car, it’s also cool.
If we’re honest, the safety aspect of Volvos has long been something to admire, but it’s hardly been something you could get excited about.
Think Volvo and you probably think reliable and a little bit boxy. In Crazy People, a film from 1990 about an advertising exec (played by Dudley Moore) who tries to inject some rare honesty  into his ad campaigns. His one for Volvo reads as follows:
“Buy Volvos. They’re boxy, but they’re good. We know they’re not sexy. This is not a time to be sexy anyway with so many new diseases around. Be safe instead of sexy. Volvo: boxy but good.”
I remember a comedy routine (unfortunately I can’t remember whose routine it was) where the comic recommended putting a rusty nail in the middle of the steering wheel of all Volvos to remind their drivers that they’re not invicible behind the wheel – a feeling it’s easy to get because the cabins of Volvos have always felt so solid and secure.
BMW owners can brag about the pure driving machines they drive. Drivers of Alfa Romeos can enthuse about the cool Italian styling of their cars. Drivers of Volvos? Do they really want to bore people about the fact that they own a car that’s very safe? Crumple zones, airbags and roll bars are great, but they hardly constitute a talking point.
Well now Volvo S60 owners do have something to talk about. They can tell their pals about the latest clever braking device, plus maybe tell them about the ‘City Safety’ device that stops them shunting the car in front when they’re crawling  along as part of a line of traffic at low speeds and lose concentration. Having impressed their friends, they should then forget about how clever the braking system on their new car is.
Forgetting about it is key, because the point is not for you to stop driving responsibly. You’re not meant to rely on the brakes automatically coming on if someone steps out in front of you, the automatic braking is merely there as a safety net that you should never have to use and that you should never rely on.
And once you’re out on the road you’ll soon forget about the nifty braking features and just enjoy the drive.
It also comes with the steering wheel on the correct side
And once you’re out on the road you’ll soon forget about the nifty braking features and just enjoy the drive. The sporty, responsive drive turns out to be something else that’s worth talking about. And so that’s exactly what I’ll do.
In an urban environment everything works smoothly and the cocooning effect of Volvos of old is still pleasingly present. Out on the open road and the fun starts. The S60 grips the road, even on the bendiest roads and even in the wet. As a driver, you feel in control but you also get the sense that the car won’t let you down.
There are enough technical elements to ensure that the car won’t be skittish or unruly without ever making you feel that you’re being overly cosseted.
You’ve the choice of 6-speed manual or automatic transmission and the choice of two five cylinder engines: 1984cc or 2400cc. The entry level S60 comes with a price tag of €32,250
Solid
To look at, the S60 is a solid wedge shape. Solid, but not chunky. From the outside it’s all sleek lines. Yes, this car has been put through its paces with regard to rigorous safety checks, but it’s clearly also spent a long time being checked out in a wind tunnel being smoothed out.
It’s so elegant, so cool and so Swedish – efficient, sensible and practical. But fire it up and expect it to be cheeky, uber-cool, prone to run around naked and to have a penchant for making porn and eating herrings. Er, or something like that.
Now I’m not sure how many people stopped and stared at the car because they hadn’t seen a stylish Volvo S60 on the road before or whether it’s because the car was metallic orange, sorry, copper. Either way, it’s definitely a head turner.
The inside benefits from smartly upholstered leather and wooden inlays. The central console features the obligatory rows of buttons, some of which you’ll probably never use, and a quirky metal silhouette of a seated body which is you can use to control the climate (you touch the head to activate the upward-facing air vents, the body for those vents that face towards the middle of the cabin, and you touch the legs to control the vents that point into the footwells).
So who should buy the Volvo S60? How about someone who enjoys driving a car that’s cool yet practical and who doesn’t have to try too hard to impress. They’re unlikely to be flash or prone to showing off and going ‘look at me, look at what I’m driving’.
But that doesn’t mean to say that the driver won’t have some serious fun and attract some serious attention.
The lowdown
Car driven: Volvo S60 (SE Lux manual transmission)
Cost (on the road): €45,050
Engine: Traverse 20 valve, 5 cylinder, 2400cc
Top speed: 235 km/h
Acceleration: 0-100km/h in 7.8 seconds
Fuel consumption: 139 l/100km (combined)
Emissions: 139 CO2 g/km (Euro V)
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