La-di-da.
According to Tyler Durden it’s fairly easy to define the modern man.
You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f**king khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Golly gosh Mister Durden.
If you were asked to describe masculinity in the modern era then that epic speech might make you feel as confused as a beaver in a tent . Thank god for the clearly privately-schooled folk at Country Life though because they’re here to clear up any lingering doubts.
Listen intently old bean because those good ‘auld chaps have a rather funny list and it’s a jolly good show.
You may think that some of these are poppycock but to that we say, pip pip.
How many of these apply to you?
Negotiates airports with ease
Never lets a door slam in someone’s face
Says his name when being introduced
Can train a dog and a rose
Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent
Knows when not to say anything
Wears his learning lightly
Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes
Has two tricks to entertain children
Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner
Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms
Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket
Is unafraid to speak the truth
Knows when to clap
Breaks a relationship face to face
Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper
Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time
Is not vegetarian
Is good with waiters
Sings lustily in church
Can sail a boat and ride a horse
Can undo a bra with one hand
Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson
Never kisses and tells
Cooks an omelette to die for
Seeks out his hostess at a party
Can prepare a one-match bonfire
Knows when to use an emoji
Would never own a Chihuahua
Knows the difference between a rook and a crow
Has read Pride and Prejudice
Can tie his own bow tie
Swats flies and rescues spiders
Would not go to Puerto Rico
Wears a rose, not a carnation
Sandals? No. Never
Never blow dries his hair
Knows that there is always an exception to a rule
Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
