1) A second Croke Park specifically for gigs
There’s a limit on the number of concerts that can take place annually in Croke Park as it stands, and with good reason. After all, there are GAA games to play and Jones Road residents to consider.
But! If we were to build a second one in a more sparsely populated area, then we could have all the Garth Brooks concerts we want. He could do a whole month-long residency there. He’d never have to leave.
2) Creme Eggs/Mini Eggs all year round
None of this moderation business. There is simply no reason why these beauties should only be sold at Easter time. The novelty doesn’t wear off and they don’t get any less delicious. We know Gerry Adams supports this issue and we expect the other party leaders to get on board.
Dreamt I was eating Cream Eggs. Woke up this morn. Pillow & beard covered in chocolate & cream thingymebob.
— Gerry Adams (@GerryAdamsSF) January 25, 2014
3) More snow at Christmastime
Sure, some of our most mountainous areas get a pretty regular frosting but the low-lying areas generally have to settle for rain or, at best, hail. And hailballs are a lot more painful than snowballs. If any candidate can promise us a White Christmas in 2016, they have our vote. We don’t care if they have to important it all from Finland.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJSUT8Inl14
4) Install American Netflix on every computer
We’d like to see our next government work closely with Netflix and the movie studios to secure the licenses to use all the movies and TV show that are on the American Netflix. How else am I going to watch the Gilmore Girls? Buy the boxset? Please.
5) Weaponise The Spire
Well, we have to do something with it, don’t we? May as well turn it into some kind of laser canon like the one that the First Order have in Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens. Think about it. We’d be able to evaporate Belgium in seconds unless they forfeited all their chocolate and beer to us. If so much as one candidate can tell me that they will at least try to get this done, they’ve got my number one sewn up.
6) Coax Paul O’Connell out of retirement
By the time the election is done, Ireland will still have four Six Nations games left to play, which is more than enough time for Paulie to make an O’Connell-sized impact. Any politician who can prove their powers of persuasion by bringing Ireland’s former captain out of retirement deserves to take their seat in the 32nd Dáil.
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