This will definitely appeal to someone that you know.
Christmas is fast approaching and while certain smug people will be gloating about the fact that they’ve already completed all of their shopping, there are always some people who couldn’t be arsed.
Here are some things that we’ve learned from waiting until the very last moment.
1) Ignore all calendars
Despite the fact that it’s December 23rd, you actually know that Christmas is aaaaaaaaaaaages away.
2) Reassure yourself that you’ve got plenty of time
“I’ve got two hours before I start work tomorrow, I’ll get all of my presents then.”
We believe you.
3) In your head, keep repeating those excuses
“It’s too cold” or “town will be wedged” or “I’ve heard that a bunch of wild dogs are on the loose.”
Regardless of the reason, a pint will always look better than a queue.
4) Plead ignorance
“I genuinely had no idea that Christmas was so soon. The decorations must have gone up late this year.”
FYI, they went up on November 1st.
5) Contemplate a new religion due to sheer laziness
You’re not religious at all, but over the last few weeks, you’re starting to convince yourself that the religions of Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or Judaism are much more suited to your Christmas needs.
This seems apt.
Clip via – VTHokie01
6) Avoid the office emails about Secret Santa
Sandra in accounting is constantly sending you an email to see if you’re interested in participating in this year’s Secret Santa pool.
Do you have the heart to tell her that all of those emails are instantly deleted?
7) Revel in being a rebel
You tell yourself, “Na, I’m not going to be like the rest of those sheep that are buying their presents as soon as the sales start. I’ll do it in my own time.”
Also, when everyone else is saying that your time is running out, you just sit back and double down on this refusal to be a slave to marketing.
All the power to you.
8) Use the hectic Christmas period as an excuse
Deadlines are to be met, work is to be completed and it’s rude to avoid social gatherings with friends – if these gatherings just happen to involve a few social drinks then so be it, you’re just being nice.
In the short term, buying Christmas presents isn’t as important as these things.
9) Ok, now it’s the right time to start your shopping
Sit back, make some tea or crack open a few beers.
It’s time to do some internet shopping. We know that you won’t be distracted.
10) You instantly start watching Game of Thrones
Yeah, you’re supposed to be shopping, but then you realised that it has been three weeks since you last watched Battle of the Bastards.
You’re only human.
11) You’ve reached that stage when you’re desperately trying to remember what the bejesus your friends/family are actually interested in
Do they even have hobbies?
If you told us that your 24-year-old brother actually has no interests at all, we 100% believe you.
It’s squarely his fault if he gets no presents from you.
Just convince yourself that everyone is impossible to shop for.
12) Lose all hope
F**k it, shopping is the worst.
13) Plead with someone else to buy all of your gifts for you
Will they actually do this though?
14) Desperately beg for hints/clues about what to buy
There really should be a designated Christmas list whereby everyone writes down what they want.
This list should then be passed around to your nearest and dearest, thus eliminating the thinking process involved with buying gifts.
It would make things so much easier.
See, it works for Santa.
15) The mad scramble
Right, you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that a trip into town is unavoidable, but it needs to be planned like a military operation. Research, execute and evacuate.
Take our advice, grab the first thing that seems like it relates to the interests/hobbies/wishes/personality of the person that you’re shopping for.
When you’ve bought all of your items, run like hell.
16) Never change
Other people might have panicked with this half-arsed approach to buying Christmas presents, but not you.
Why? Well, you’ve got a system in place and the system NEVER fails.
We salute you.
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