16 spin-offs that the Game Of Thrones creators should consider making

Carl Kinsella

With fewer than a dozen episodes of the beloved Game Of Thrones TV series to go, fans will be getting anxious, wondering what will fill the big Wall-sized hole in their hearts.

Luckily, HBO has revealed that there are plans in the pipeline for several spin-off shows that will take place in the George RR Martin universe — a prospect that will hopefully be enough to tide us all over through the long night.

However, little is known about these spin-offs, and we’re not even sure which characters they’ll follow.

With that in mind, we’ve put together some suggestions that we think could be helpful for HBO when it comes to following up their flagship show.

1. Arya Having A Laugh?

Tired of the assassin life, Arya moves to New York to try her hand at stand-up comedy. Years of loneliness and hardship have left her sense of humour hard to relate to, and her impulse to murder hecklers gets her into some sticky situations. She eventually befriends a more established comedian, played by Aziz Ansari, who gives her advice in exchange for protection against some mafiosi he owes money to.

2. Ramsay and The Joff!

One is a murderous psychopath! The other is absolutely a murderous psychopath as well! A fresh take on the classic odd couple dynamic, Ramsay and The Joff are partners on the King’s Landing police force, only problem is… they can’t stop killing people! Not even for like five minutes. Can they crack the case? Yes! Because they are always the culprits. Ramsay and The Joff, Sundays at six!

3. The Many Faced Guys

Jaqen H’ghar and his faceless friends go around playing Punk’d-style pranks on the people of Westeros, using the faces of the men that they’ve ruthlessly murdered as disguises, with hilarious results.

4. Homicide: Highgarden

Rumours that Angela Lansbury would be joining the cast of Game Of Thrones don’t seem to be bearing any fruit, so our solution is Homicide: Highgarden — a detective show where Angela Lansbury reprises her role as Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote and journeys around Highgarden solving crimes with the joint-best old lady on TV, Olenna Tyrell.

5. Little Fingers

Littlefinger is one of Westeros’ most infamous King’s court connivers, so he certainly doesn’t need a baby cramping his style. Bad news for him — now he’s got three, somehow. Woefully unprepared for the life of a father, Littlefinger must continue making machinations in order to put himself on the Iron Throne all while changing nappies, reading bedtime stories and learning what it means to be a dad.

6. Row Your Boat

Fans of the show have been asking “What happened to Gendry?” since he sailed off into the mist at the end of Season 3. Row Your Boat is a dark comedy that would follow Gendry as he rowed his boat around a seemingly endless sea, occasionally running into people from his past (both from Game Of Thrones and Skins) who try to help him find land. Unfortunately, he always ends up falling overboard or being captured by sea creatures, and never actually makes it ashore. At least not during the first season. We assume it will be renewed for a second season.

7. Tormund Giantsbane, MD?

Using what he’s learned about the human body on the battlefield to his advantage, Tormund enrols in medical school. Given that most of what he’s learned involves ripping peoples’ organs out and beating their brains in, he quickly realises that he’s in way over his head when it comes to modern medical procedures. Enlisting the help of fellow medical school student Kimberley, played by Alison Brie, Tormund begins to learn how to save lives…

But can he also learn… To love?

8. Everybody Loves Rhaegar

One of the biggest discrepancies between George RR Martin’s A Song Of Ice And Fire book series and the Game Of Thrones TV show is the amount of times a dead guy called Rhaegar Targaryen gets mentioned. On the show, we are occasionally and gently reminded that he is Dany’s older brother and also, probably, definitely the father of another important character.

In the books, it is rare that five pages will pass without somebody saying “I miss Rhaegar,” or “Rhaegar wouldn’t have done that,” or “I wish Rhaegar were here, then things would be different and better.” His actions were pretty much the catalyst for the entire story, and he’s kind of like the dead main character.

Everybody Loves Rhaegar would be a more truthful retelling of Martin’s source material, in which all battles, drama, murder and espionage are cut, and everybody just sits around wondering what Rhaegar would be up to if he was still alive. Making us all feel special, probably.

9. 50 Shades of Grey Worm

Grey Worm’s sex scene with Missandei last week was a rather touching moment for the two generally quite lovely characters in amongst the madness of Westeros’ endless cycle of war. 50 Shades of Grey Worm would just be those two minutes recreated every week. On after 11pm.

10. Gee-Eyed Ravin’

Picture Game Of Thrones meets Human Traffic — the 90s film about drugs and seshing that wasn’t Trainspotting. We explore the Night King as he takes on Westeros’ naughtiest nightclubs, makes it snow on strippers, and proves just what makes him king… of the night. Night King played by Danny Dyer.

11. LOST

After a shipwrecking incident, skilled sea-smuggler Davos Seaworth ends up on a mysterious island home to polar bears, ghosts and a ferocious Smoke Monster. Eventually he encounters scientists from the Dharma Initiative, and realises that the only way to get his life back is to use their technology to prevent a cataclysmic “Incident.” It’s called LOST and we came up with it. Back off, JJ Abrams, you had your chance and you blew it. We’re going to make it make sense this time.

12. My Left Hand

Jaime Lannister had it all. A place in the Kingsguard, a big reputation, a hot sister he has sex with (Producer’s note: Seriously?) … Until one day it was all taken from him. Jaime must learn to readjust to life, unable to provide for his bastard children, who all eventually die anyway, and his hot sister girlfriend, who hates him. My Left Hand is the story of a man who has lost everything… except redemption. And he holds it in his left hand.

13. You Know Nothing

The least satisfying quiz show in the history of the world, hosted by Ygritte the Wildling.

14. Time Gentlemen Please or I Will Kill You

Sandor Clegane, aka The Hound, has finally left his old life as a soldier behind him… But you know what the say, old habits die hard! Now in charge of his own pub (called “The Hound’s Howdy Hut”), Sandor has to deal with rowdy patrons, rude millennial bar staff and hipsters who’ll only drink craft beer. How long can he make it without cutting somebody’s throat? Spoiler: not very long at all. Will also feature half the cast of Cheers.

15. The Khaleasey

After her unsuccessful bid for the Iron Throne, Dany wants to keep living the fast-paced life but without the high stakes of conquering a continent… So instead, she decides to conquer the real estate market! As her trio of dragons lay fiery waste to her competitors, Dany becomes the best known estate agent in all of Westeros — but when she realises it’s been two years since she took a weekend off, she worries that her priorities might be out of order. How can she balance her intense work life with the temptation to enjoy her youth? Tune in to The Khaleasey to find out.