The illustrious phenomenon that is the Late Late Toy Show has returned once again for another year.
Kicking off this Friday, 1 December the Toy Show will see Ryan Tubridy and two dozen children lose their mind to some Disney classic before our very eyes. And it will be magical.
Yes, those two-and-a-half hours of Friday night telly will transport us to a better place, and despite what the nay-sayers remark on the evening, we’ll all be better people for it. Even though the annual tradition has us all going through the festive motions somewhat…
1. Toy Show! Toy Show!
Ah Jaysus, what’s Tubridy after putting on?
2. He’s sweatin’ a river already
He earns his salary tonight, alright.
3. Did that child just do a BACKFLIP???
Lordblessusandsaveus.
4. …does Billie Barry take adults?
*furiously searches yearly rates*
5. Ah the first child, what a dote
Christ. She’d screech for Ireland anyway.
6. This young lad, God bless him he’s riddled with nerves
Good on him for braving the world with an outfit like that…
7. WHY didn’t we try to get tickets this year… WHY
They’ve all just gotten a bloody CAR ffs.
8. Okay here we go, another overpriced stage-school number
*glares with seething jealousy*
9. EVERY YEAR they put us through this tripe
*weeps into takeaway*
10. Ah, the brother and sister act – this’ll make us feel better
WHERE did that bodhrán come from?
11. GASP. RIVERDANCE MEDLEY.
*whole sitting-room begins furiously leppin’*
12. Christ, I’m bolloxed after that – how are these kids still awake?
Pink Snack bars on-tap backstage, surely.
13. Furbies! Are they still on the go?
Still as terrifying as ever.
14. Oh bless, all the kids that didn’t make it…
Yawn. Next.
15. Ah we know her! Molly!!!
You know her brother? Prick.
16. Did that child just say what I thought she said?
Someone’s getting the sack tomorrow.
17. He’s way too old for this show, surely?!
Think I spotted him in line for the dole last week.
18. Ah, the Book Children
Inquisitive little nymphs.
19. I didn’t realise they still used patches over lazy eyes
If it ain’t broke.
20. I wonder if the audience chooses to dress like eejits or are they the rules?
*bawls into pint*
21. Great. They’ve just won a trip abroad.
*steam emits from ears*
22. Okay, this child would make you want children.
Check out his MANNERS <3
23. LOOK! They’re bringing out the celebrity!!!
This is it!! The best moment ever!!!
24. Ah he’s as red as a bottle of ketchup, God bless him.
Who knew being chronically speechless could be so damn winning.
25. Is that child rocking a mullet?
I’m into it.
26. DUSTIN!!!
Good lord that turkey is filthy.
27. Ah yes, the annual rendition of Wagon Wheel
Naturally.
28. ”And there’s freshly granted planning permission for everyone in the audience!”
*frantically rings the council*
29. Oh, oh the mini cars bit!
Guaranteed chaos. Unreal.
30. Kill him!!! Bash into each other!!
Who knew I house this sense of anarchy within me?
31. Jesus, these are nicer than my bike
Boom is back in Donnybrook anyway.
32. Jesus, do they really have to put a choir on EVERY BLEEDIN’ YEAR
*silently weeps to Oh Holy Night*
33. DID THE AUDIENCE JUST GET A SQUARE ACRE OF THE MOON?
I’m done. I’m so bloody done with this shite.
33. GOODNIGHT CRUEL WORLD
*eventually falls asleep covered in Celebration wrappers and tears of unbridled envy*
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