Three modern classics and two absolutely bonkers action movies. Take your pick.
Post-EP, we imagine everyone is planning on staying married to their couches this evening.
If you do gather the energy to head out, then there are a lot of great movies in the cinema to choose from (and we review them all right here), but if you are taking it easy, then there are some crackers to choose from on the telly:
MONDAY 3 SEPTEMBER
No Country For Old Men – TG4 – 9.30pm
The Coen Brothers make a modern classic western, with Josh Brolin as a cowboy who happens across some money, which is then hunted down by a terrifying Javier Bardem (that haircut!), and Tommy Lee Jones as the local sheriff trying to piece together the carnage.
Jumper – Syfy – 10.00pm
A kind of superhero-movie, but not really, as Hayden “I helped ruin Star Wars” Christensen finds out he has the ability to teleport, and Sam Jackson plays a government agent assigned to hunt him down because reasons. It isn’t a great movie, especially considering everything else that is on tonight, but is perfectly brainless entertainment.
Swordfish – ITV4 – 11.00pm
Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry and… eh… Vinnie Jones star in this absolutely bonkers action movie about a group of cyber-terrorists who want to rob a bank so they can… kill other terrorists? It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it is A LOT of fun, even if it never gets better than the opening bomb attack that manages to out-Matrix the Matrix.
Trainspotting – Film 4 – 11.15pm
“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.”
The Imposter – Film 4 – 1.05am
We’ve gone into some detail already as to why this film is completely unmissable. Just trust us and watch it.
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