Today is the perfect chance to doss off work and toast your local barman with a bunch of lilies and a packet of bacon fries.
But before we throw off the shackles of Hump Day and head to the place where we wish somebody knew our name, let us pay tribute to our favourite fictional barmen and women.
Moe (The Simpsons)
What he lacks in social skills and, well, looks of any kind he more than makes up for in his bartending skills. Spends most of his day counting the pickled radishes and trying to keep Barney out of his supply, while subtly trying to move in on Marge when Homer isn’t looking.
He’s not to be trusted, but you can always trust the fact that he’s not to be trusted, and there’s a comfort in that.
We also love him when he’s angry.
http://youtu.be/E-ZasDTtg1U
Grant Mitchell (EastEnders)
Mechanic. Misanthrope. Gangster. Heavy. Pourer of the meanest pint of ale this side of Walford.
And pyromaniac.
Once burned down the Queen Vic for the insurance money, the brat, but always had time to lend a sympathetic ear to Pauline, Arfur, Dot and his cousin Billy.
Not a bad aul’ sausage despite all the assaults and murders and general criminal mastermindery.
Teasy McDaid (Glenroe)
Ah, Teasy. She was the mammy of Glenroe, the one to keep the farming folk juiced up and rearing to go with lovely pints of creamy stout and peanuts before the whole Dry Roasted craze came in and swept the nation.
Better times. Teasy presided over Miley and Fidelma’s furtive glances, Dick and Mary’s marital difficulties, Biddy’s… ehm… look we can’t remember more than two vague storylines but we know that Teasy was the queen of Glenroe and watching her pulling those pints gave us an extra half an hour’s grace before bed and another week of school.
The theme tune chills us to this day.
Woody Boyd (Cheers)
Seen as the straight man against whom the rest of the Cheers cast could pivot, in Woody Harrelson’s hands Woody became one of the best loved characters on the show.
He was beautifully clueless…
The entire cast of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
An awful, rancid, duplicitous, conniving, selfish, mean-minded, shallow, bordering on criminal group of people…
…yet, somehow, you end up rooting for them and can’t stop watching. There’s genius in that.
Jack Duckworth (Coronation Street)
Part of the only successfully married soap couple in the history of things that ever existed, Jack and Vera were a constant while the rest of Weatherfield were off sleeping with each other step-sisters and, inexplicably, Nordie Jim McDonald.
You just can’t buy class like that.
Assumpta Fitzgerald (Ballykissangel)
Oh she was an awful wan, that Assumpta, teasing the priest to beat the band and bringing the art of quiet seduction to Irish television screens in the mid-1990s.
A young JOE can admit to having had quite irresponsible thoughts about Dervla Kirwan back in the day, and who can blame us when you consider the undercurrent of sexual wizardry in scenes such as these?
Oh nurse.
Sam Malone (Cheers)
The champ of them all, Ted Danson perfected the art of making Sam seem like the world’s biggest winner and loser all at the same time.
Growing up, all we wanted was to grow up to be Sam Malone. Since turning 25, all we’ve done is thank jaysus it never happened.
This particular scene is one of our favourite. “There’s no degradation left!”
http://youtu.be/r1kbn-LOpes
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