Send a raven.
As ever, SPOILER ALERT! Here are some of our favourite moments from this week’s episode, ‘The Gift’.
Master of Quotes – Best Line
There were so many great lines this week and it was tougher than Valyrian steel to choose a winner. It’s almost like asking who we want on the throne.
By the way, it’s Hodor.
Daario Naharis’ ominous warning to Dany that “all rulers are either butchers or meat” surely must have been taken on board, while we’re loving the fact that Bronn was allowed to embrace his Robson & Jerome roots yet again by singing about ‘the Dornish man’s wife’.
This week’s winner was this chilling exchange though;
High Sparrow to Lady Olenna – “You are the few, we are the many. When the many stop needing the few, well…’.
The North Remembers – Best Scene
This week’s episode finally felt like it was reaching out into all corners of the Seven Kingdoms, because most of the major players got a scene.
Poor Arya, she must feel so left out.
Sam continued his quest to be crowned ‘The Nicest Man In Westeros’, with a touching eulogy to Maester Aemon, while he proved his metal yet again by protecting Gilly from a miscreant Night’s Watch pairing.
He might be losing some allies on The Wall, but he’s not short on courage. That fight was so brutal that we felt our teeth rattling by just watching it.
The scenes in Winterfell continue to make your skin crawl as Sansa must surely be at her breaking point. The look on Ramsay’s face as he cracks that wry smile is an evil joy to behold and what’s Game of Thrones without some friendly flaying?
Ramsay’s delivery of the lines “her heart gave out before I could even get to her face” and “hold onto your candles, the nights are so long” were a thing of twisted genius.
Cersei finally got her comeuppance after losing the reigns of the beast that she created- better known as those nice church-going lads in the Faith Militant – in a fantastic ending, but there’s only one winner.
We know that the show has jumped the shark, octopus and Narrow Sea when it comes to being faithful to the books, but it finally happened, Tyrion met Dany.
Here’s hoping for a beautiful friendship. Lannister’s and Targaryen’s love each other, right?
Valar Morghulis – Best Death
It may have been a happy, harmonious and positive weekend in Irish society, but this sort of mood never prevails in Westeros. No wonder everyone seems so moody.
Maester Aemon’s death was sad, but the man must have been 732 years old – we kind of knew it was coming – but the slaves fighting each other in Dany’s presence was a bloodbath.
It reminded us of that scene in Gladiator when Russell Crowe lays the smackdown on his fellow slaves with an impressed Oliver Reed looking on.
This throat slit was definitely the highlight.
We also had our obligatory flaying, we do love a good flaying. So does Theon.
Sub-category: Death count – One Maester due to old age, a flayed lady, one slave with a slit throat and another with a crushed skull. Honourable mentions to Sam fighting his Night’s Watch brothers and Tyrion proving his worth also.
GoT X-Rated
The nicest couple in Westeros finally hooked up as Sam and Gilly’s romantic plans weren’t going to be ruined by mutinous soldiers, a dead Maester or hungry direwolve.
They do date night very differently on The Wall. Oh my, indeed.
Once again Dany and Dario’s frolics between the sheets featured the worst pillow talk ever heard as the duo kept chatting about treachery, lies and the other people that they’re dating. Who does that?
As for Bronn and the best jail cell ever? Well, that requires a whole other paragraph.
Mother of Dragons – Best Beast Scene
There was no dragons for the second week running, but we did get Ghost being a total bad ass.
Sticks and Stones and Swords – Best Insult
A chained Margaery screaming to Cersie – “GET OUT, YOU HATEFUL BITCH!”
You Know Nothing – The WTF Moment
We knew that Melisandre would do something that’s totally bat-shit crazy, so asking Stannis to sacrifice his only daughter is probably as normal to her as asking someone for a cup of tea.
See lads, your mam always warned you to stay away from red priestesses, but did you listen?
There was an unanimous winner though and it involved one of the raciest, deadliest and strangest scenes that we’ve ever seen in Game of Thrones.
We don’t quite know how a display of boobs managed to activate the poison that was running through Bronn’s veins, but it almost seemed irrelevant given just how off-the-wall bonkers that prison sequence was.
Those two should start dating and get their own rom-com show. Ross and Rachel would have nothing on them.
Stealing The Throne – This Week’s Best Character
Sam has always had the knack of stealing any scene that he’s in and this week was no different because;
1) He might ultimately save Jon’s life with that dragonglass, 2) the eulogy to Maester Aemon was great, 3) he lost two of his closest allies, but still remained strong in the face of danger, 4) he defended the woman he loves, 5) he got to have sweet, sweet sexy-time with the woman he loves.
The last point might seem a bit crass but hey, it”s his reward for being a good guy.
From Wicklow to Westeros – Where did Aiden Gillen’s Irish accent land?
He’s infallible this week having received some good news.
Aiden Gillen scoops the IFTA award for Lead Actor in a drama for ‘Charlie’ #IFTA2015 #RTEOne pic.twitter.com/JVypaXWTKn, via @RTEOne
— RTÉ (@rte) May 24, 2015
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