Send a raven.
As ever, SPOILER ALERT! Here are some of our favourite moments from this week’s spectacular episode, ‘A Dance of Dragons’.
Master of Quotes – Best Line
Actions definitely spoke louder than words this week as the ‘Song of Fire and Ice’ series turned up the heat in the most literal and brutal way, but at least we finally know who Westeros’ father of the year is.
On a serious note, Ser Alliser Thorne only got one line in the entire show but his delivery of the words ‘You’ve a good heart Jon Snow, it will get us all killed‘ was sublime. There’s still tension between the two of them, but there’s grudging respect too.
Sadly for the Princess Shireen, she didn’t take heed of the chilling, ominous and maniacal words from her father, Stannis Baratheon.
“If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself, the choice is no choice at all”.
The North Remembers – Best Scene
You can’t help but feel that a lot of the scenes in Dorne this season have been shoe-horned into the show in order to give some of the best characters – particularly Jamie and Bronn – something to do but this week, it took momentum away from more important matters at hand.
The midnight raid on Stannis’ camp, orchestrated by Ramsay and 20 of his men, was wonderfully shot with the fire and snow acting as a nice motif for the whole show.
Even Melisandre must have been impressed.
Stannis’ descent into madness and Dany’s flight into destiny will be discussed later but there was one stand out winner this week and it’s not only because he’s Irish.
What Liam Cunningham has done with Ser Davos Seaworth is nothing short of wonderful because that character embodies everything that Mr Baratheon, the Lord of Dragonstone, should be.
Davos has always had the conscience, morality and compassion that Stannis has so quickly disregarded in his thirst for the Iron Throne and his scene with Shireen was genuinely moving, with an aura of melancholy and futility.
The wooden stag that he made her as his own ‘poor way of saying thank you, for teaching me how to be a grown up’ was enough to bring a tear to a White Walker… or Stannis. They’re both bastards that are dead inside.
The Shireen-Ser Davos friendship is one of the sweetest things on #GameofThrones. Which is why I live in constant fear for both of them. — Nivea Serrao (@NiveaSerrao) June 8, 2015
Valar Morghulis – Best Death
I’d argue that most of the Gladiator-esque violence that took place in Mereen lost some of its edge due to the preceding scene in the North.
The screams from Princess Shireen will arguably remain as one of the most harrowing, tough and draining experiences for Game of Thrones fans but what did we expect?
This execution was sanctioned by a man who killed his own brother. It must have been some craic to have Christmas dinner in the Baratheon House a few years ago.
Game of Thrones is so complex that we can’t even wish Stannis dead. He’s still the only chance the Starks have to regaining Winterfell.
— Jon Snow (@LordSnow) June 8, 2015
Dany could barely look at the tribute violence unfolding in front of her but that decapitation was a joy to behold, as was the six-man battle-royale.
There’s only one winner though, Drogon vs. one disillusioned Son of the Harpy. Dinner is served. Dany’s most deadly dragon also torched 15 insurgents as he proved his worth when his mother needed him most. What a mama’s boy.
Sub-category: Death count. One man in the temple of the many faced God, one decapitated slave, five men that Ser Jorah got the better of, one stab-happy stadium that was full of Mereen citizens, Hizdahr zo Loraq dying (no one cares because he was never good enough for Dany) and Drogon delivering what we’ve all waited for, feckin’ firey fun.
GoT X-Rated
One of the most uncomfortable scenes in a brothel in which, thankfully, all clothes were kept on. Here’s hoping that Arya completes her task.
Mother of Dragons – Best Beast Scene
Some people felt that the finale was reminiscent of The Never Ending Story, we disagree.
How to Train Your Drogon pic.twitter.com/Z3LDKbdw5d
— Jon Snow (@LordSnow) June 9, 2015
Sticks and Stones and Swords – Best Insult
Tyrion to Hizdahr zo Loraq – ‘In my experience, eloquent men are right every bit as much as imbeciles’.
A bigger burn than Drogon’s breath.
You Know Nothing – The WTF Moment
We we all warned but nothing could prepare you for this moment.
Stealing The Throne – This Week’s Best Character
Lord Friendzone is dead, long live King Friendzone. Na, we’re kidding because Jorah Mormont finally proved to Dany that he was trustworthy, he also kicked ass with a spear. The man is solid as a rock. Oops…
Welcome back to the Friendzone, Ser Jorah. pic.twitter.com/pEdCOwzwaM — Daenerys Targaryen (@Daenerys) June 9, 2015
From Wicklow to Westeros – Where did Aiden Gillen’s Irish accent land?
Littlefinger is still plotting somewhere which probably means that next week he’s going to somehow convince Cersei to marry the High Sparrow, bring Ned Stark’s body back to life, renegotiate Ireland’s deal with the IMF and join the cast of Quantum Leap.
He can do it.
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