It’s very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
There’s certain TV characters that become so engrained in pop-culture that they seem to take on a life of their own.
This week we’re focusing on a salesman that’s clearly going through a mid-life crisis but he’s too slick to admit it.
It could only be the man that has women on the brain, the smooth-talking, car-selling, silver-fox… Swiss Toni.
In three words, he’s: Deluded, hilarious, smooth.
Why he’s a TV great : The Fast Show is arguably the best sketch show of its time because there was so many wonderful characters in it.
‘Ted and Ralph’, ‘Ron Manager’ and ‘Jazz Club’ are just some of the memorable ones but none of these men are “built like an Alp, and ridged like a Toblerone” nor do they posses a phone book that’s ” positively engorged with the numbers of young ladies”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y3N_wSj6Bw
What Charlie Higson did with this character, in just a few short minutes on screen, was wonderful because you know that Swiss Toni is talking complete and utter sh**e but you still empathise him and his long suffering assistant Paul.
The moment when he admits that he’s having a nervous breakdown to a flabbergasted Paul is equal parts hilarious and moving but Toni’s appeal is so much more.
The amount of hilarious metaphors, anecdotes and stories he has about “making love to a beautiful woman” would put Casanova to shame.
His best quote:
His advise on laying carpet ;
“Laying a carpet is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you’re adventurous – like me – you might like to try an underlay”.
If we could put him in another show : Sex and The City, because the mix of his disillusioned bravado, open discussions on sex and self-proclaimed charm would make a nice counterbalance to the girls discussions.
Could you imagine it?
His best scene : There’s so many to choose from but this one stands out. That lingering look at the end is priceless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_E0ZF2uIKs
If you need more of a Swiss Toni fix then we suggest you take a look at this super-cut.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!

