All the news, all the time.
This week on the news, a clash in the Mediterranean as the irresistible force of Harry Maguire meets the immovable object of the Greek legal system in a clash that’s gonna go down in history as one of the many stories that are being written this week.
Manchester City take on Barcelona in a financial arm wrestle to determine the owners of Messi, for this year at least. And indeed at most.
Thousands and thousands of hours of news stories, each more climactic than the last! Constant, dizzying, twenty-four hour, yearlong, endless news! Every bit of it massively mattering to someone, presumably. Watch it all, all here, all the time, forever, it will never stop, the news is officially going on forever! It will never be finally decided who has won the news! There is still everything to play for, and forever to play it in! So that’s the news! Coming up! Watch it! Watch the news! Watch it! Watch it! He’s gonna move…
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