Do these sound familiar?
We’re currently in an international week and as a devoted Irish supporter, nothing will come close to matching the passion and blind devotion that’s required for being an Irish fan.
We’ve all been raised to follow and support our country through thick and thin but this has got me thinking about some of the very worrying telltale signs that you might love football more than your own partner.
FYI, football is only a game and a happy relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend should always take precedence but this being said, we’re still all guilty of taking things a little bit too seriously at times.
For example…
1. The dates dilemma.
Men will always forget the dates that certain birthdays and anniversaries fall on which isn’t an ideal situation when you’re dating someone.
Why is it though that I can still remember the exact amount of goals that Andy Cole scored in the 1999-’00 Premier League season? I take comfort in knowing that all men are the same.
Every. Single. One.
2. Passion for fashion.
Your partner might ask you ‘how does this dress look on me?’. I’d wager that your reply is usually along the lines of ‘you look gorgeous darling’ and nothing else is said.
Compare this with the moment when you see the new kit that your club will be wearing for the upcoming season.
“The collar is gorgeous, thank god that they’ve gone back and used the granddad collar because I really wasn’t a fan of the V-neck style. The material is a lot more durable also which is great because I can get a fair amount of use out of it. I’m not mad about the size of the sponsor though because it takes up too much space”.
Wow.
3. What’s your happiest memory?
When asked this question, if your answer is May 25th, 2005 aka Liverpool’s famous comeback in Istanbul and not your own wedding day, then you’re fecked. Absolutely fecked.
See, telling the truth is never a good thing.
4. What gets you angry?
If the news that Antonio Valencia is starting for Manchester United makes you angrier than any petty squabble with your missus, it’s equal parts a healthy and terrifying sign.
5. Commitment issues.
You’re more than happy to admit your undying love for Gary Breen to a bunch of strangers, but still drag your heels when it comes to telling your partner that you love them.
The again, we all dream…
6. Arguing over money.
Money is always a majorly divisive issue between couples but when you’re arguing over the fee that Man Utd paid for Anthony Martial as opposed to the more relevant domestic financial issues, you’ve got a problem.
7. Romantic trips away.
“I’ve heard that Paris is lovely on June 10th, 2016. What a coincidence! That’s the exact same date when Euro 2016 starts also!”.
8. You need your own space.
I’ll be honest and say that I’m a very easy going and relaxed person…most of the time. This being said, I genuinely am the worst company in the world if my teams loses a match, especially in the dying moments.
There have been times when my previous girlfriends have told me to ‘cheer up, it’s only the game’. This is the absolute worst thing to say. The worst.
9. Avoid making plans on match days.
I’m all in favour of people spending some quality time with their significant other but there’s the right time and place. If your favourite team are playing an important match then this takes precedence.
If you’re avoiding an afternoon date with your partner because Colchester v Bury is on TV though, then you really shouldn’t be surprised if your dumped very soon.
10. Can’t remember things.
Your girlfriend has repeatedly told you what her cousins names are and yet you still manage to draw a complete blank when you’re introduced to them at weddings.
Without even thinking hard, the Man Utd team that started the Champions League final against Bayern in ’99 was; Schmeichel, Neville, Stam, Johnsen, Irwin, Giggs, Beckham, Butt, Blomqvist, Yorke and Cole.
It’s just the way that our brains are wired.
11. Baby names
“What are you talking about? Stig-Inge Maguire is a perfectly fine name for a baby!”.
12. Crying
This hopeless devotion to football might ultimately cause your partner to lose patience with you and walk out the door. They’ll probably also move to outer Mongolia because football isn’t huge over there…I think.
If you’re the type of person that’s more likely to cry over a defeat as opposed to your girlfriend/boyfriend leaving you, then it’s probably a good thing that you’re not together.
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