“Football, bloody hell…”
With the third round of group games kicking off soon, JOE has decided to once again rank the 32 teams competing for the biggest prize in world football. Do you agree?
1) Costa Rica (Previously 6) – If anyone predicted this then JOE owes them a pint. Costa Rica already stunned the world with their comfortable 3-1 against Copa America winners Uruguay but they were expected to fade away against Italy. Bryan Ruiz’ winner means that Costa Rica now top of a group containing three former World Cup winning countries. All of a sudden Ireland’s draw against them looks like O’Neill’s best result!
2) Chile -(Previously 13) La Roja have been JOE’s favourite team in the tournament to watch so far. Their unique mix of high energy pressing and devastating counter attacks was too much for Spain who crumbled under the intense pressure. Yes, Chile do give away chances at the other end but their style of football is a joy to watch.
3) Holland – (Previously 1) The group stages are all about winning and the fact that Holland are through is a testament to the work of Van Gaal and his largely inexperienced squad. The disjointed win against Australia might benefit them in the long run as it helped lower expectations after their famous demolition of Spain. Arjen Robben looks like he is in blistering form and the Dutch still haven’t lost a World Cup group game since 1994.
4) France – (Previously 3) On paper, France’s group was the easiest but we all know that things aren’t always straight forward with Les Blues in tournaments. Deschamps men have been superb, scoring eight times already and their 5-2 win against a typically resolute Switzerland was very impressive. Bigger tests lie ahead.
5) Columbia – (Previously 9) They have reached the knock-out stages for the first time since 1990 and all without Falcao. Columbia have played some breathtaking football at times but they also look like one of the only solid defensive units in the tournament. Could go far.
6) Argentina – (Previously 5) Stopping, starting, stuttering but winning. Unlike Holland or France, the albiceleste haven’t hit their stride just yet but tournament football is all about building momentum rather than peaking early. Do you know what the scariest thing is for the rest of the teams in Brazil? Lionel Messi HAS shown up for this World Cup.
7) Belgium – (Previously 11) The most impressive thing about this Belgium side so far has been their patience and game management skills. They didn’t panic when they went behind against Algeria as Marc Wilmots used his bench brilliantly. Russia tried to stifle them yesterday but only one team looked like winning the game which the Red Devils did. Improving by the game.
8) Brazil – (Previously 7 )Very much like Argentina, in that they haven’t found their samba stride just yet. On another day they could have hit Mexico for three goals but Ochoa was having one of those days. Scolari’s side are extremely solid defensively but JOE wonders if the lack of real a world class centre forward will hurt them.
9) Germany – (Previously 2) JOE has seen milk turn quicker than some of Germany’s back four. Ghana exposed die mannschaft’s defensive problems but even without the injured Marco Reus, Germany have so many brilliant attacking options as seen by their opening round demolition of Portugal.
10) Mexico – (Previously 8) Defiant, resolute but deceptively good on the ball. Relied on Ochoa’s heroics in their draw against Brazil but that’s what a goalkeeper is for. All or nothing game against Croatia, which could go either way.
11) United States – (Previously 17) Largely outplayed against Ghana yet they found a way to win. They were the better side against Portugal but found a way to throw away two points. JOE expects a very nice leisurely mutually beneficial draw between them and Germany in the last game.
12) Croatia – (Previously 14) Desperately unlucky to lose against Brazil but the return of Mario Mandzukic should be the catalyst for Kovac’s men.
13) Nigeria – (Previously 32) They haven’t been easy to watch but who the hell cares in Nigeria. Stephen Keshi will know that a draw against Argentina will see his side through to the last 16. Just like the Germany v USA match, this may have shades of Ireland v Holland in 1990… “No, no, no you have the ball, trust me we wont tackle”.
14) Italy – (Previously 4) Very impressive in their 2-1 win against England but they were desperately poor against Costa Rica. Joel Campbell should have been awarded a penalty before Ruiz scored the winner as the Azzuri look woefully off the pace. Costa Rica hassled Pirlo and the Italian game plan fell apart. Their match against Uruguay couldn’t be any more tense.
15) Uruguay (Previously 25)- Very similar tournament to Italy so far but they have one key difference, Luis Suarez. JOE isn’t saying that one man makes a team but his two goals against England showed just how clever the Liverpool striker is.
16) Algeria – (Previously 20) Were undone by the Belgian bench in their opening game but bounced back in emphatic style against a woeful South Korea defence. Now these are what JOE would consider a proper “dark horse”
17) Ivory Coast (Previously 16)- They overpowered Japan in their opening game but could get anywhere near Colombia for large parts of that match. Last 16 and no further.
18) Switzerland (Previously 10) – At least they haven’t been dull. Their match against France was like watching two drunks throwing punches at each other down an alley. They should get through to the last 16 but any team that plays Senderos and Djourou should have their bags packed and waiting by the door.
19) Ecuador (Previously 21) – There’s only one Valencia! Enner Valencia that is.
20) Iran (Previously 31)- Apart from Argentinians, was their anyone who didn’t feel sympathy for Carlos Queiroz’s men. Their entire team were nothing short of heroic against Argentina but Reza Ghoochannejhad’s missed chances may come back to haunt them. They are more than capable of winning against an already eliminated Bosnia though. Hope remains.
21) Ghana (Previously 22)- “We don’t really need to defend do we coach?”.
22) Portugal (Previously 27)- While Pepe was busy head-butting people, Thomas Muller helped himself to a hat-trick in their opening game. Things were supposed to improve for Ronaldo and co against the US… they didn’t. Portugal were outfought and outplayed by the Americans. Ronaldo clearly isn’t fit but Varela’s header keeps them in with a small chance of qualification.
23) England (Previously 15)- The English press have been calling on their team to play exactly like Spain and now they are. The first time any English side has lost their opening two World Cup matches. Says it all.
24) South Korea (Previously 19) – They were gifted a point against Russia but their first half performance against Algeria was the worst that JOE has seen so far. The words shambolic, error ridden and schoolboy come to mind to describe their defence.
25) Russia (Previously 18) – Bored the arse off JOE.
26) Greece (Previously 24) – See above.
27) Bosnia (Previously 12) – Heroic against Argentina but they didn’t do enough against Nigeria despite Dzeko’s perfectly good goal being ruled offside. JOE is disappointed that they couldn’t build on their very decent opening game.
28) Australia (Previously 26)- You wonder if Tim Cahill looks around the dressing room before each game and sighs to himself.
29) Japan (Previously 23) – JOE’s adopted team haven’t exactly set the tournament alight but their fans are a great bunch of lads.
30) Honduras (Previously 30) – Looked like a decent team against Ecuador. Looked like a team of rabid Nigel de Jong clones against France
31) Spain (Previously 28) -France in 2002, Italy in 2010 and now Spain. The reigning champions have looked a shell of the side that some would consider to be “the greatest team of all time”. The Real Madrid players still look like they are celebrating La Decima while a clearly unfit Diego Costa struggles upfront. Change is coming.
32) Cameroon – Why even show up?
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