They all can’t be winners…
JOE can’t wait for the World Cup to resume tomorrow… it’s been gone for far too long. Brazil 2014 has been one of the greatest tournaments that we can ever remember but some of the players haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory. Here’s JOE’s worst World Cup XI…
GK: Iker Casillas
It looks like Jose Mourinho and Carlo Ancelotti were right all along. San Iker came into the tournament with question marks over his form, especially after his clanger in the Champions League final, and his critics were proven right.
Four years ago, Spain’s captain was lifting the World Cup but right now it looks like he would probably drop a beach ball. Casillas was arguably at fault for three of Holland’s goals in their opening day 5-1 demolition by Holland but Vicente Del Bosque kept faith with the Real Madrid shot-stopper for their next game against Chile. It was a big mistake as Casillas dropped another clanger at the feet of Charles Aranguiz.
One positive for Casillas is that Igor Akinfeev is a now a big fan of his. Russia’s keeper was absolutely awful but he just misses out on this team.
RB: Alex Song
The versatile Song is our choice at right back and that’s pretty much the only thing that he has done right in the last few weeks.The Barcelona player, much like the entire Cameroon squad, had a tournament to forget. JOE still can’t figure out what was going through his head before he elbowed Mario Mandzukic in the back. Teams usually look to their best players for inspiration and leadership. Cameroon’s main men were Eto’o and Song. It all makes sense now.
LB: Leighton Baines
JOE thinks that the Everton left-back is probably still looking around the pitch in Manaus trying to find Candreva and Darmian. To be fair, he was exposed by Hodgson’s tactics in England’s defeat to Italy, but was also caught out of position and played a massive part in Balotelli’s goal. Baines looked poor on the ball against Uruguay and it was no surprise to see him replaced by Luke Shaw against Costa Rica. Expect this to be the trend for England now. Somewhere, Ashley Cole is smiling to himself.
CB: Pepe
Imagine this scenario. Your team is two-nil down against Germany in the opening game. The captain and talisman isn’t playing well. You’re a talented central defender who plays for Real Madrid but your country needs you to help inspire those around you. What does Pepe do? He headbutts a player who is already on the ground.
The expression ‘rocks for brains’ comes to mind but then again, what else did we expect? Pepe was reinstated to Portugal’s starting XI for their final match with Ghana but it was too little, too late.
CB: John Boye
JOE gets the impression that Ghana really couldn’t care less about defending and the Stade Rennais defender was the main culprit. Ghana shipped four goals in their first two games and ultimately paid the price for their all too frequent lapses in concentration. Boye also won the coveted ‘Tackle like Nigel de Jong and Mark Van Bommel’ award when he left Clint Dempsey and Thomas Muller in a bloodied mess after a few heavy tackles. To make things worse, he also scored an own goal in their 2-1 defeat to Portugal. Solid.
CM: Xabi Alonso
It breaks JOE’s heart to put Alonso on this list but the subject of our man crush was absolutely awful in Brazil. That Real Madrid ‘La Decima’ party must have been one hell of a night because hardly any of Real’s squad performed well in Brazil. Xabi was taken off at half-time in the Chile match and much like the rest of Spain’s team he never found his form. Still, this photo eh?
CM: Wilson Palacios
Things were always going to be hard for Honduras but it didn’t help that their most experienced player, Stoke midfielder Wilson Palacios, got himself sent off in their opening day defeat to France, meaning that the 29-year-old missed Honduras’ narrow 2-1 defeat to Ecuador.
Once he returned, though, Palacios made a minimal impact as his side managed to lose 3-0 again, this time to Switzerland.
RW: Steven Gerrard
The Liverpool captain was praised for adapting to a deep-lying playmaker role for Liverpool but his attempt to reprise this role for England looked more headless chicken than fearless leader.
He spent most of the opening game against Italy chasing shadows but he did rediscover some of his club form against Uruguay. His role in setting up Luis Suarez’s second goal, a perfect flick-on for his club mate’s well-timed run, capped off a dour tournament. We don’t let it slip, eh Stevie?
LW: Kevin Prince Boateng
In the pantheon of troublesome footballers, Kevin Prince-Boateng will probably rank very high-up in the list. Boateng aimed a “vulgar verbal tirade” at coach Kwesi Appiah after the Ghana manager had the cheek to use him as a substitute against USA and then take him off him after just 52 minutes against Germany. Boateng was annonymous in both games.
He then picked a fight with team-mate Sulley Muntari and was sent home. Stay classy Kevin.
ST: Sergio Aguero
JOE has been underwhelmed by Messi FC… erm, sorry, Argentina in this World Cup so far. It looks like the Man City striker is desperately struggling for match sharpness following his troublesome hamstring injury; he has offered absolutely nothing and it’s no surprise that he was subbed in all three group of their matches. Lavezzi started against the Swiss and has probably usurped him in the pecking order.
ST: Fred
Think about some of the players that have wore the famous number nine jersey for Brazil. Ronaldo, Tostao, Serginho and now Fred. JOE would rather have this Fred in our team.
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