Which one are you?
From this weekend onwards, rugby will catapult itself to the top of the sporting agenda and will pretty much dominate until Richie McCaw the winning captain lifts the Webb Ellis trophy on October 31.
Having been pretty quiet all summer long, you can expect all types of rugby fans to emerge from the woodwork for the duration of the World Cup, from the die-hards to the bandwagoner who hasn’t seen a rugby ball since Murrayfield in March.
Sure, there may be a little bit of blatant stereotyping below, but there’s also a good chance that you or your friends fall into one of the following categories.
You’ll be seeing plenty of them over the next six weeks.
The die-hard
There’ll be a lot of bandwagoners in the crowds in London and Cardiff over the next few weeks but you wouldn’t begrudge this lad a ticket, no sir.
A committed member of a rugby club when professionalism in rugby was but a mere notion in some official’s head, this fella has supported Ireland for donkey’s years.
He still rues the day when Michael Lynagh ruined all of Gordon Hamilton’s good work back in Lansdowne Road in 1991 (above) and sheds a tear of joy at the memory of the Millennium Stadium six years ago.
The event junkie
Sat beside the die-hard in the stands will be a guy who stands taller, cheers louder and roars at the referee with such force that the tag on his recently purchased Ireland jersey nearly falls off.
Turn around to discuss the match at the final whistle with this lad and he’s already gone to grab a pint with a gang of lads he met at the Euros in Poland in 2012 and an old flame he first met outside Giants’ Stadium in 1994.
Number of actual matches attended outside of official tournament events: 0
The Leinster culchie
There was a time in the noughties when Munster had as many fans outside of Munster as they did in the province itself; this was particularly true in the Leinster counties outside of Dublin.
Then Sean O’Brien, Fergus McFadden and three Heineken Cups came along and changed everything.
The Munster bandwagoner
A relatively young species, the first Munster bandwagoner was spawned in the spring of 2002 when Munster reached their first Heineken Cup Final, a defeat to Leicester Tigers.
The bandwagoner flourished whenever games against Leinster came around, but an inability to cope with a combination of a harsh winter climate and unsatisfying Celtic League rugby meant they often didn’t surface until early April (and sometimes not at all if Munster didn’t make it out of the pool).
Empty seats for big games at Thomond Park in the recent past suggest that the Munster bandwagoner is on the verge of extinction; only an injection of instant success can save them now.
The man still talking about ‘78
Little known fact: Munster beat the All-Blacks in 1978. People who were there don’t like to talk about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyNWKsuchaU
The Rugby Snob
“Rugby is indisputably the greatest game in the world because rugby, rugby, rugby, rugby, rugby. And I won’t hear a word otherwise.”
They’re still not as intolerable as hurling snobs, mind.
The wannabe referee
If you’re watching any Ireland game in a pub, stay as far away from this guy as possible.
If you don’t, you’ll spend the best part of two hours wiping his Guinness from your face as he spews at Nigel Owens for his failure to penalise the guy who was clearly offside, off his feet, coming in from the side of a ruck, not releasing the ball and collapsing a maul. All at the same time.
The leader of the anti-Premier League brigade
“Look at him there, he’s just after taking a massive kick to the head and is ignoring blatant signs of concussion to play on, whereas those lads on £100,000 a week in the Premier League would fall over if someone as much breathed in their ear.”
The Ross O’Carroll Kelly type
Stereotype it may be, but the reason the Ross O’Carroll Kelly caricature has proved so popular is that we all know somebody just like him.
He’ll be found in one of the more salubrious drinking emporiums in south Dublin over the next few weeks.
Oh my literally God. My life has been made. #Heineken pic.twitter.com/bD9PmXsmUi
— Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (@RossOCK) September 16, 2015
Better than an Ireland cap. You did me a favour, Gatland! #Heineken pic.twitter.com/jqD7xYL2Tz
— Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (@RossOCK) September 16, 2015
He’ll be swilling pints of Heino, cheering for the ‘Lun-ster’ lads a little louder than the rest and telling everyone how he, not Luke Fitzgerald, was the real star man on the 2004 Blackrock College Senior Cup-winning side.
The ‘us against the world’ Ulster fan
This lad reckons the only reason Rory Best isn’t captain, Paddy Jackson isn’t out-half and Jared Payne and Darren Cave aren’t the first-choice centre partnership is because there’s an anti-northern bias within the IRFU and always will be.
The Connacht ‘til they die supporter
He marched with the hordes on Lansdowne Road in 2003, he’ll tell you Eric Elwood was Ireland’s greatest ever out-half and that no number seven to wear the green jersey was as tough as Galway’s Johnny O’Connor, AKA Johnny O’Concrete.
Forget the World Cup, this fella can’t wait for the 10,000 mile round-trip to Krasnoyarsk in Siberia to take on Enisei-STM in November.
The rugger hugger
Apologies to all the ladies who genuinely love their rugby, but there are some whose presence at matches in recent years was part of their unashamed desire to bag themselves a rugby hubby.
Well-paid, in prime physical condition, beloved by the public and with a fast pass to the most elevated circles in Irish society, who could blame them?
The GAA rugby fan
Why did Robbie Henshaw score that try against England in the Six Nations? His GAA background, of course.
An example of those Gaelic football skills that Robbie Henshaw referred to #IREvENG #6Nations pic.twitter.com/kkpeakYdhG
— Athlone GAA (@AthloneGAA) March 1, 2015
There’s no way Rob Kearney would be as safe under the high ball if he wasn’t a former Louth minor.
And don’t even think that Shane Horgan would’ve scored THAT try against England in Croker if he hadn’t previously worn the green and gold of his native Meath.
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