Two year bans… worldwide consternation… won’t somebody think of the children?… “our Wayne would never do something like that”… different angles… price driven down… and all that jazz.
Luis Suarez, so pumped up before Uruguay’s clash with Italy that he forgot to indulge in his usual pre-match bowl of pasta washed down with that funny Uruguayan tea, decided to chow down on some juicy shoulder of Chiellini and the world would never be the same again.
This is the last we’ll be seeing of old Luis for a while.
Nom.
Alan Shearer says he should be banned for as long as possible, Phil Thompson says he heaps embarrassment on Liverpool, Evander Holyfield has weighed in (pun probably intended), Robbie Savage said… something that we deeply didn’t care about.
So there’s all that, and then we have Luis himself.
“These situations happen on the pitch, we were both just inside the area, he struck me in the chest with his shoulder and he hit me in the eye as well,” he untruthed.
“These are things that happen on the pitch and you shouldn’t attach so much importance to them.”
You might hear more about this throughout the day.
That James Rodriguez is a bit good, and almost as dreamy as Fernando (“he’s ABSOLUTELY gorgeous”) Morientes
From cartoon villains to absolute dreamboats, as Colombia continue to make light of the absence of Falcao and light up proceedings led by dashing no.10 James (Ha-mez) Rodriguez.
JOE was more than a little pissed off to see the playmaker left on the bench for the first half against Japan on Tuesday evening, and more than a little enthused when he came on to inspire his side to three wins from three and a meeting with Uru-goinghomewithoutyourbestplayer in the last 16.
Rodriguez was brilliant, setting up two for Jackson Martinez before making it 4-1 with this piece of majesty. Nice.
And finally, England play their last post-season friendly against eventual World Cup winners Costa Rica
Well, that was… yeah. Roy Hodgson said something about “they’ll be pleased with a point from this game, Geoff,” or words to that effect.
Frankly, we didn’t care then and we don’t care now enough to seek out the actual words he said while packing away the toothpaste and the traffic cones.
While THAT was happening in Natal, Belo Horizonte played host to the deadest of rubbers between group winners Costa Rica and 2022 also-rans England.
In lieu of highlights, lowlights or what have you, please enjoy this Vine of Kind Uncle Woy falling asleep after his Christmas dinner.
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