The Chinese, a great bunch of lads.
With the recent big-money signings of Jackson Martinez, Ramires and Ezequiel Lavezzi, the Chinese League is developing a reputation as a place where footballers can earn some serious money.
Other notable players that have recently moved to the East include Nikica Jelavić, Luís Fabiano, Fredy Guarín, Gervinho, Gael Kakuta and Jô but this has got us thinking about some of the other players that might fancy the prospect of earning a dump-truck load of money each week a new challenge.
If they decide to move then good luck to them. Get paid, retire and to paraphrase The Simpsons – they can continue to sleep on top of that large pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
GK: Tony ‘Bonus’ Warner
The logic: The Liverpool cult-hero managed to spend 5 years at Anfield without ever playing a match for the club. He did manage to make 120 appearances on the bench though which earned him the nickname Tony Bonus due to the huge amount of win bonuses that he picked up.
RB: Pascal Chimbonda
The logic: This was his exact reaction after hearing that there’s lots of cash to be made in China.
CB: John Terry
The logic: He has already been heavily linked with a move to the league and we wonder why.
It’s not like JT has displayed some money hungry characteristics, especially after those accusations emerged that he took cash in order to facilitate a behind-the-scenes tour of the club’s training complex for three undercover reporters.
He may have less clubs than the likes of Chimbonda but we wouldn’t be surprised to see him move.
CB: Winston Bogarde
The logic: Terry had to learn his money-loving ways from someone and there’s no finer man that Winston ‘Holy Christ, is he still being paid!?!?’ Bogarde.
Truth be told, it’s not big Winston’s fault that Chelsea continued to threw more cash at him than humanly possible.
Wherever Bogarde is right now, I’m sure that he’s currently thinking about coming out of retirement and moving to China. After all, he must be tired from making it rain since leaving Chelsea in ’04.
LB: Ashley Cole
The logic: Do we really need to tell the story about how Cashley was so offended by Arsenal’s offer of £55,000-a-week that he nearly crashed his car. Our heart bleeds for him.
CM: Yaya Toure
The logic: I’m sure that Yaya will be guaranteed a cake for his birthday, one when he signs for the club and another cake if he has all his homework done by 6pm also.
RM: Samir Nasri
The logic: He’s just a lovely man that every football fan will deeply miss if he decides to head to China. *Cough, cough*.
LM: Vlad Weiss
The logic: Olympiacos fans can answer this one. After the former Man City and Ranger winger decided to move to the Qatari league, they nicknamed him Wei$$.
26-years-old and playing in Qatar can only mean one thing. He must be crying into his bank account.
STK: Emmanuel Adebayor
The logic: He’s currently waiting by his phone hoping that it rings. When it does, he’s going to be dancing.
STK: Asamoah Gyan
The logic: He’s the type of footballer that would probably be happy to move his entire family 2,570 km around the world if it meant that he was earning €2.57 more in his wage packet.
He’s already in China and we won’t be surprised to hear if he’s on the move again.
STK: Carlos Tevez
The logic:
Tevez: “I’m moving clubs to be closer to my family”.
Reporter: “Erm, you’re playing for Boca Juniors and your family are currently living with you in Buenos Aires now”
Tevez: “Well this is awkward. See ya!?.
Manager: Sven-Göran Eriksson
The logic: Who else could lead this band of merry mercenaries?
Any more that you might add to the list? Nicolas Anelka, Wayne Rooney or maybe our own Robbie Keane?
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