In todays transfer window we take a look at all the latest transfer rumours, including more Fabregas-courting and the fate of Airdrie’s Scott Gemmill.
There is no greater aphrodisiac for Premier League managers these days than the sound of ‘English international’ – just the sound of these two, seemingly harmless terms, is enough for any boss to whip out their wallet and pay laughably astronomical figures for the privilege of signing their own home-grown, overpaid, spoilt disappointment.
In the great pantheon of hilarious English international transfer fees, we’ve seen Star Trek’s Worf-lookalike Joleon Lescott join Man City for £24m, Liverpool’s ‘defender’ Glen Johnson pull on a red shirt for £18m and box-outfoxing £8m Arsenal buy Francis Jeffers make a mockery of Arsene Wenger’s transfer history.
Thus, when Aston Villa slapped a £30m price-tag on James Milner, we all heartily laughed at the possibility of Man City coughing up the cash immediately – though the seemingly wily oil-rich Eastlands side are yet to bite.
Not that such clear-headedness will faze Spurs boss Harry Redknapp, who will bypass all logic and offer Robbie Keane, David Bentley (should’ve put him in the last paragraph to be honest) and Jermaine Jenas for the privilege of signing Ashley Young, whose head Villa have rather rudely slapped a £30m price tag on.
Barcelona <3 Fabregas 4 Eva
The seemingly never-ending Cesc-courting of Catalan giants Barcelona continues apace today, after the Arsenal skipper revealed to Spanish daily AS that he is facing personal battles between his desire to lead Arsenal by himself or carry over his national bench-warming duty to his club career.
Poodle-haired Barca irritant Carles Puyol hasn’t been helping either, after telling The Sun, ‘he is far too classy a guy to say it, but the truth is he doesn’t want to be at Arsenal this season.’ Lucky for Fabregas, ‘classy’ Barcelona players like Puyol are on-hand to say the thing that he can’t – on a daily basis. It’s not tapping-up if the players are doing it, right?
Puyol makes Cesc his bitch
Despite needing at least two centre-backs, another defensive midfielder and a goalkeeper that isn’t an utter embarrassment, Arsene Wenger may be in the hunt for a winger – more specifically, PSV Eindhoven’s Ibrahim Affelay.
Affelay seemingly meets all the mumbly manager’s typical transfer criteria – he’s young, obscure, slight, and his club is completely broke. The Dutch winger’s contract with PSV is up next season, which is pushing the penniless club to cash-in.
Premier League
Everyone’s favourite Christmas party organiser James Beattie is back on the market, with Blackburn, West Bromwich Albion and Sheffield United all looking to spend around £1.5m for the veteran target man.
Elsewhere, Manchester City have finally realised they have to register a mere 25 players for their season roster, and have hastily offloaded defender Javier Garrido for a cut-price £2.5m to Lazio, ex-home of their Serb signing Aleksander Kolarov. Samba flop Robinho could be on his way back, however, hopefully by helicopter and greeted by men dressed as dolphins.
The Eastlands club could also be easily persuaded to inexplicably sell some of their best players in recent seasons to their former boss, Fulham’s Mark Hughes – with Craig Bellamy, Stephen Ireland, and Roque Santa Cruz (okay, maybe he doesn’t count) to London at knock-down prices.
Over in Merseyside, Everton could be willing to sell Steven Pienaar to raise funds for shiny-headed US hero Landon Donovan. Donovan completed a successful loan spell in spring at Goodison Park and enhanced his reputation with a stellar World Cup. Pienaar has been linked to Inter Milan in recent days.
SPL in a bucket
Ex-1899 Hoffenheim goalkeeper Timo Hildebrand has confirmed his desire to join Celtic, telling Scottish newspaper Page “There is interest from Celtic. This is very interesting to me.†Interesting.
Finally, Airdrie Utd have re-signed former striker Scott Gemmill, having released the player at the end of last season. How embarrassing.
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