From the very first glimpses of the Kinect, fans have clamoured for the Star Wars take on proceedings. After a long, long wait, it’s finally here but should LucasArts have left it frozen in carbonite?
By Leo Stiles
Let’s get one thing clear; Kinect Star Wars isn’t going to “rape your childhood”, as so many hysterical series fans claim. It won’t sully your cherished memories of a galaxy far, far away and it most certainly doesn’t do any damage to the Star Wars brand that hasn’t already been done by a decade of daft prequels. What it is, however, is a blueprint for how not to make a Kinect-based game.
Kinect games have come in for all sorts of justified criticism in the 18 months since the peripheral first launched and not without good reason, with poor controls and sub-par gameplay putting a dent in the promised future of controller-less gaming.
That said, a few bright spots remain with titles like Kinect Sports 2, Dance Central and Child of Eden all proving that there is a place for controller-free gaming. Sadly, Kinect Star Wars is about as good example of the former as you are going to get.
On the surface, the game appears to be a slam dunk because after all, who hasn’t had the odd Star Wars fantasy as a kid as you charged about your bedroom with your cardboard tube lightsaber?
In essence the pitch is perfect: be a Jedi, take to the deserts of Tatooine in your supercharged racing pod, eat Gamorian Guards for breakfast as a rampaging Rancor and watch all your favorite characters in a galactic dance-off… erm, maybe not that last one.
Sadly, that last part is the only section of the game that actually works and if dancing is your thing, then we suggest that you stop reading now and head out to buy the vastly superior Dance Central 2 in order to get your disco kicks because when I say that the feature works, I don’t actually mean that you will get any enjoyment out of it.
In fact, the dance-off portion of the game is so arse-clenchingly wrong that it makes the infamous Star Wars holiday special look like a gritty expansion of the franchise. Along with camp takes on Han, Lando and Leia, the game insists on employing cheese-laden versions of contemporary chart music, only with added Star Wars references which will have you reaching for a vomit bag before long. Still, at least it’s playable.
If only I could say that the game gets better. I can’t, and if any part of the game emphasises what is wrong this Kinect Star Wars, it has to be the pod racing.
The first thing that struck me was the graphics. Low detailed and fuzzy resolution textures abounded and with the exception of the odd decent character render, the visuals seemed like they belonged in a prior generation, not on a machine that is at the absolute maturity in what it has to offer.
Initially, I thought that I was onto a winner, with each of your arms being given control over one of the engines, thus creating a decent push/pull mechanic of steering, braking and acceleration. So far, so good, I thought – at last, a simple control method that makes sense.
Unfortunately, the developer felt the need to complicate things up with boosts (both arms thrust forward), power-ups (reaching up for an icon), Whomprat clearance (swipe the critters off your pod by waving your arm around) and lastly my favorite; activating the windscreen wipers by swiping your had across your body.
What had started out promisingly suddenly became a battle with myself as I flailed about in my living room like I was having a fit while turning the air blue with creative swearing. It’s just as well there is no controller as I’m sure it would have been lodged in my TV screen by the end.
Wasted potential
I have loved Star Wars all my life but this sheer inability of the game to even come remotely close to being playable banished all thoughts of living my childhood dreams. More damning was the game’s failure to improve of one of the franchises greatest videogames; Star Wars: Pod Racer on the N64, which still holds up to this day as a racing game and conveys the excitement of the Phantom Menace’s best scene perfectly. If I was being uncharitable, I’d say that the 13-year-old game has better visuals too.
The other games in the package are dull and repetitive with the Rancor Rampage inducing the full body equivalent of button mashing and the Jedi missions marred by lag and poor collision detection. There is a bit of piloting and shooting to do in there too but none of these attempts at variety take away the bad taste of repetitive gameplay.
If there was one game where Kinect could have triumphed, it was this. Maybe we are asking too much of a new technology to fulfill our childhood dreams and maybe not. I still think that the day will come when Kinect 2, or even Kinect 3 will deliver on its promise but this game is another case study in how to get it wrong.
Just in case you needed any Star Wars-related cliches, I’ll simply sign off and say that the Force is not strong in this one.
Format: Xbox 360 Kinect
Developer: LucasArts and Terminal Reality; Publisher: Microsoft Studios
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