Prince Philip’s best gaffes

The Duke of Edinburgh has hit the headlines for taking time out during the Papal visit to Scotland to quiz a female Scottish politician if she was wearing tartan underwear.

By Robert Carry

The queen of England’s husband was at a reception for Pope Benedict XVI at the queen’s official Scottish residence when he noticed that Iain Gray, leader of the Scottish Labour Party, was wearing a tartan tie.

According to reports in The Scotsman, Philip then turned to Annabel Goldie, the Scottish Conservative leader, and asked, “Have you got a pair of knickers made of this?”

The politician was unfazed, however. She responded, “I couldn’t possibly comment – and even if I did, I couldn’t possibly exhibit them.”

It’s far from the first foot-in-mouth moment for our favourate weird old uncle of the British royal family. Here are his best slap-downs.

On a state visit to China:

“If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.”

To a blind woman with a guide dog:

“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

To an Aboriginal in Australia:

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation:

“Where did you get the hat?”

When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union:

“The bastards murdered half my family.”

To a British person in Budapest:

“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”

To a driving instructor in Scotland:

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

After the Dunblane shooting:

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

To a student who had returned from trekking in Papua New Guinea:

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

To Elton John after hearing Elton sold his Gold Aston Martin:

“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”

On traffic problems in London:

“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

To the president of Nigeria, dressed in traditional clothing:

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

Unknown:

“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

On problems facing Brazil:

“Brazilians live there.”

To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean:

“You have mosquitos. I have the Press.”

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