In the last two days, visitors to two different Irish classifieds websites may have been a little perturbed about the type of peculiar products on offer. But what are we talking about, exactly?
So you’ve kind of drawn me in with the title there – what sort of crazy sh*t are we talking about?
Some really crazy sh*t. Over the last 24 hours, two adverts have appeared on Irish websites DoneDeal.ie and Adverts.ie – one advertising a whole head of human hair and the other advertising a person’s very own soul.
No offence to any Yanks, it’s the sort of stuff that normally comes out of the States, but it seems as if we’re developing our very own brand of crazy on our own shores.
Give me a little bit more info – one at a time please.
OK, so. Let’s get the less morbid one out of the way first. An ad was posted on adverts.ie only a few hours ago (1.55pm to be precise), detailing the availability of a head of “virgin blonde hair”.
The seller, who goes by the name of Izabella from Longford, says she is willing to part with all 71 centimetres of her flowing locks, which she is soon shaving off.
She says that her hair highlights in the sun and is very shiny. She never straightens it, perms it, dyes it or any of that fancy stuff, washes it twice or three times a week and keeps a very healthy lifestyle, so the chances of a buyer finding a few nits in there are few and far between.
Does she say why she’s getting rid of it?
Not a word. We figure it’s either a desperate plea to make some money or else she’s just going for the look that Britney ill-advisedly showed off a few years back.
And how much does she want for it?
€600. Hardly a snip (cough) in fairness.
Come off it.
I’m serious. She does add, however, that she is willing to cut the hair at the buyer’s request and will even ship the hair as soon as she receives payment. And if you think she’s messing (and there will be plenty who do) she adds for effect at the bottom of the ad: “Only serious offers please. Thank You.” Seriously.
I must add that, at the time of writing, the ad had been viewed 666 times which is admittedly pretty spooky, but not quite on the same scale as the other thing I was telling you about earlier on …
It can’t be as bad as the hair thing can it?
Well there’s somebody in Clare who has put their soul up for sale on DoneDeal, so judge for yourself.
Good God.
You said it, and although the other ad is of the barmy variety, this one is very disturbing and seems like a cry for help more than anything else.
Didn’t they see what happened when Bart sold his soul to Millhouse in The Simpsons?
That was my first thought as well, but obviously not. Obviously disheartened by the present state of our country, the seller, ‘Soul Sister’, says that they have a “slightly tarnished” soul for sale, an “unwanted gift” that is still wrapped.
Obviously mad as hell and not willing to take Ireland any more, the seller says that they are willing to trade their soul for a job, tickets to emigrate or most sadly of all, “hope”. We can only assume that the trade would be completed by the recipient of the soul digesting it orally, as Millhouse did in the aforementioned Simpsons episode.
It all has a whiff of desperation about it to be honest.
God, people selling their hair and their souls, talk about a depressing day.
We’re sorry. To make up for it, here’s a video of a dog skateboarding. You’d want to have a heart of stone not to raise a chuckle at this little fella.
