It’s the Bank Holiday Weekend. Get a movie in there…
You might be out and about taking in various festivals and sporting occasions, or just kicking back with a well-earned pint at the end of a long week.
Or maybe you’re opting to sack all that off and just chill out at home in front of the TV.
If you’re feeling more partial to that last option, we salute you in the form of eight movies worth considering giving your time and energy to…
Hard Rain – SyFy – 9pm
A staple during the VHS era, Hard Rain may not quite live up to the sum of its parts but it’s cracking genre fun.
Christian Slater goes up against Morgan Freeman’s hardened thief – marking a rare villainous turn from the iconic actor – in a small town hit by intense flooding.
There’s a touch of the modern-day Western about Hard Rain; tight setting, broadly-drawn goodies and baddies, and an increasingly tense ticking clock situation.
Lock Up – TV3 – 9pm
If Hard Rain is of its time then Lock Up is something else entirely.
It’s the end of the 1980s and a hulking Sylvester Stallone finds himself fighting seriously unfair odds to stay alive in a maximum security prison.
Amazing how action movies used to work on such simple premises, and in that regard Lock Up fits the violent, messy and fairly ridiculous bill.
Ted – ITV2 – 9pm
Far more modern fare comes in the form of Seth McFarlane’s foul-mouthed anthropomorphic teddy bear and his layabout best pal Mark Wahlberg.
Essentially a vehicle for the Family Guy supremo to riff on pop culture yet again, Ted does well to throw in some heart along the way.
It’s all just one big metaphor about friendship and growing older and looking after yourself, innit?
Wild Things – Dave – 10pm
“Where have all the erotic thrillers gone?” we asked recently here at JOE.
1998’s gloriously trashy Wild Things was the inspiration for said question, as it’s not really been topped since.
Matt Dillion, Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell and Denise Richards get their sleaze on and then some in this sweaty tale of twists, turns and frankly near-pornographic levels of lust.
Not one for all the family, believe us.
The Break-Up – ITV – 10.45pm
Vince Vaughan in a rare serious-ish role as he and Jennifer Aniston go through the stages of courtship as if it were the grim acceptance of mortality itself.
The Break-Up suffers from trying to do a bit too much, and the balance of drama and comedy proves tricky, but the two leads go all-in as you would want from such a commitment.
Just maybe avoid if things aren’t going swimmingly with your significant other.
Train to Busan – Film 4 – 10.55pm
Our own Rory Cashin is blue in the face telling anyone who’ll listen that Train to Busan is one of the best and most under-seen horrors of the decade.
To his credit, he’s not wrong. Tense, terrifying and terribly enjoyable; this South Korean zombie apocalypse drama is a masterclass in suspense.
An American remake is on the way, but board this one first.
The Mechanic – ITV4 – 11pm
If you’re going to remake a cult ’70s Charles Bronson vehicle, get Jason Statham involved.
Better yet, get excellent character actor Ben Foster along for the ride.
The Mechanic is more tightly-plotted thriller than outright action smash, and Statham meets its patience in earnest, embodying a conflicted assassin with both brutality and cunning.
Grave of the Fireflies – Film 4 – 1.15am
And taking us into Saturday morning is Grave of the Fireflies, a movie that will rip the heart right out of your chest before stamping all over it as you struggle to breathe.
But in a good way, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Beautifully animated by Studio Ghibli, Fireflies tells the stories of two siblings trying desperately to survive as World War II draws to a close.
You might think that what is essentially a cartoon couldn’t possibly break you apart entirely. You are mistaken.
Er, happy Bank Holiday weekend?
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