For anyone that’s staying in on this lazy Monday…
It’s cold, most of you have the day off work – if you’re working, we feel your pain – and it’s Monday. That could only mean a lazy day on the couch.
On this note, here are the best films on TV tonight for those staying in…
Ransom – 9pm on ITV4
Mel Gibson has his son kidnapped. He then uses the ransom money as a reward for the capture of the kidnappers. A grand thriller.
The Shallows – 9pm on Film4
Put this shark-infused horror/suspense/thriller into the category of ‘a better film than you thought it ever would be.’ 200 yards from shore, Blake Lively’s surfer is attacked by a great white shark, with her short journey to safety becoming the ultimate contest of wills.
Hot Fuzz – 9pm on Sky One
Danny Butterman: Where’s the trolley boy?
Nicholas Angel: In the freezer.
Danny Butterman: Did you say “cool off?”
Nicholas Angel: No I didn’t say anything…
Danny Butterman: Shame.
Nicholas Angel : Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said “play time’s over” and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.
Danny Butterman: You’re off the fuckin’ chain!
Genius.
Mother! – 22:45 on Film4
Darren Aronofsky’s horror continues to divide fans like very few films have in recent years. You can understand why. That neck break though, eh?
Some people live it, others hate it.
The Hills Have Eyes – 22:55 on Paramount
Very gory, perfectly competent, never trust anyone that you meet on a road trip.
All apt phrases to use when describing this enjoyable remake of Wes Craven’s original.
Blade – 23:25 on ITV4
“Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill!”
21 Grams – 01:05 on Sony Movies
Don’t believe the title because this is one heavy film. A freak accident brings together a critically ill mathematician, a grieving mother, and a born-again ex-con.
Well acted, well directed, and it packs a punch. Definitely not what you would call light entertainment though.
The Witch – 01:10 on Film4
A very immersive and slow burning horror which features a cracking breakout performance from Anya Taylor-Joy.
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