Clothes maketh the man. Or is it manners? Or something else? Since we’re in the style section of the site, we’re going to stick with clothes for now.
Basically what you wear says a lot about you. And while individual style is great, there are some things you definitely don’t want to be saying. Like it or not, there are some clothes that will make even the most upstanding citizen look dodgy enough to deserve a restraining order.
Put bluntly, there is only one outfit that should be worn by someone who hangs around school gates, and that involves reflective clothing, a peaked hat and a giant lollipop.
And so we give you JOE’s quick guide to some of the biggest fashion faux pas to avoid if you’re looking to make a favourable first impression.
White socks with black shoes
The single most important thing to avoid if you’re looking to get ahead in the fashion stakes. Black and white occasionally makes a fine combination, but not where your feet are concerned. Traditionally favoured by men of an older generation or computer geeks who really should get out more, they look hideous and will cause any self respecting girl to run a mile away from whoever dares to wear them. Incidentally, wearing any form of socks with sandals is also to be carefully avoided.
High-waist trousers
As patented by Simon Cowell (pictured), but just because you often see him arm in arm with a beautiful lady, don’t be fooled into thinking that it’s his keen fashion sense that attracts the ladies; it’s his bulging bank balance. Pulling your trousers up above your belly button may help to conceal a rotund belly, but they won’t do anything for your look. Best leave it to Simon and businessmen in their mid forties to keep alive a dying trend.
Redneck peaked baseball cap
Briefly enjoyed a renaissance in recent years when the garish headwear with the motor company logo on the front was oft-seen on the noggins of fashionable celebs such as Ashton Kutcher. Such caps, however, only brings to mind a mullet-haired, moustachioed redneck with a can of beer in hand who likes Nascar racing, driving pick-up trucks and occasionally taking his anger out on his long suffering wife, who may also be his cousin.
Braces
As we’ve seen with the likes of Converse All-Star shoes and check shirts, it doesn’t take much for a fashion trend of the past to suddenly become all the rage again. Followers of the TV show Mad Men and Brat Pack aficionados would do well to avoid a return to 1950’s style fashion and especially the suit braces worn in an era before the belt became king.
Such accessories scream self importance as if the wearer is saying, ‘I don’t have time to worry about adjusting my trousers’. Also bring with them the danger of bringing trousers up to belly hugging levels, which, as discussed earlier is a definite no-no.
Christmas Jumpers
In extreme cases, these horror shows can be worn on Christmas Day if only to please your darling granny who put hours and hours of effort into a multi-coloured sweat box with snowflakes and a big deer on the front.
After that, it should be thrown into the attic with the rest of the Christmas decorations, only to be resurrected as a Christmas present for your annoying brother the following year. Don’t worry, your granny won’t remember ever having given it to you in the first place.
