World Cup profile: North Korea

Placing the lowest FIFA-ranked side (105th) in the World Cup in the toughest group is just unfair.

By Emmet Purcell

Korea DPR (or North Korea) endured a difficult qualification slog after being paired with Iran, South Korea, UAE and Saudi Arabia in the Asian “Group of Death”. They eventually scraped through in second place, earning their first World Cup qualification since 1966. They were unfancied then too, but knocked Italy to advance to the quarterfinals. A naturally defensive side, sometimes deliberately switching back with no forwards, the North Koreans are determined not to become whipping boys.

Battling back twice to draw recently with Greece (including a beautiful brace from star man Jong Tae-Se – see below), there is much too suggest Kim Jong-Hun’s men are a well-organised side that would’ve been a much more dangerous proposition had they been drawn in any group other than Group H. Still, such a difficult group plays tot their ultra-defensive style and may yet frustrate opponents.

Star Player: Jong Tae-Se

One of only two players in the National Squad that plies their trade outside of North Korea, Jong performances in the J-League for Kawasaki Frontale have earned his reputation as the “Asian Wayne Rooney”.

With 14 goals in 21 appearances on the international stage and 41 from 102 at club level, this could be a breakthrough tournament for the 26-year old. Raised by second-generation South Korean parents, Jong was born and raised in Japan, attending Chongryron schools his entire life, making him a “Zainichi Korean”. Jong was able to obtain a North Korean passport through the help of Chongryon, a fiercely pro-nationalist North Korean organisation. Originally eligible for three different countries, he is now the pride of his country and the envy of Asia.

Manager: Kim Jong-Hun

Despite open courting of Guus Hiddink and Sven-Göran Eriksson by the North Korean FA, former international defender Kim Jong-Hun will deservedly lead the team he built to South Africa. Due to the secluded and ultra-nationalistic nature of the country, it is difficult to fully assess the history of Kim’s managerial expense and outlook, with a lot of his quotes most likely heavily vetted, praising the nation’s “Dear Leader” for giving “in-depth guidance” along their World Cup journey. As for his country’s prospects, Kim was quietly confident, stating, “I believe we will at least pass the first round,” and that “We have the strong spirit of challenge to upset expectations”.

Prediction: Group stage exit

The odds don’t lie and the odds say North Korea are not only 2000/1 to win the World Cup. They’re massive odds even to finish second and get out of the group. We’re sticking with the bookies on this one and though we love an underdog, we predict Kim Jong Il’s football representatives will be “so ronery” at the foot of Group H.

Odds: 2000/1

Irishness rating: 4/10

Although Ireland and North Korea have no real historical, cultural or political ties, the Koreans sent us a lovely St. Patrick’s Day message earlier this year. Kim Yong Nam, president of the creepy-sounding Presidium of the Supreme People’s Assembly had high hopes that we could “settle our economic problem”. So there you have it then, North Korea – a great bunch of lads.

If they were a car they’d be…

A pushbike. We have to break ranks with this one. We were thinking horse-and-cart but have settled on bicycle, the mode of transport of choice (eh, necessity? – Ed.) for anyonewho can afford them, estimated at 70 per cent of households by one 2008 report.