World Cup profile: Switzerland

Our pantomime villain back in the dark old days of Brian Kerr and Hakan Yakin, Switzerland are arguably the worst European side in the tournament.

By Emmet Purcell

Luxembourg is currently placed 127th in the FIFA Rankings. Their Euro 2008 qualifying defeat of Belarus was the country’s first victory in all competitions in twelve years. And on a cold night in Zurich two years ago, the minnows of Europe recorded a historic three point haul with a 2-1 away humbling of Switzerland, their first World Cup qualifying win since 1972. To the Swiss’ credit, they eventually went on to win their qualifying group but such an achievement rings hollow once you consider the top seeds from the standings were a decidedly average Greece side.

Recent performances have done little to deflect criticisms of an overachieving side with two defeats to Uruguay and Norway in their post-qualifying friendly matches, although they did invite Luxembourg around for a confidence-boosting 3-0 trashing (take that Luxembourg!).

Star Player: Alexander Frei

With 40 goals in 73 appearances, FC Basel striker Frei’s experience will be relied upon like no other for this well-organised side’s hopes, having sat out the whole of his country’s qualification through injury. A controversial figure, Frei once spat at Steven Gerrard during a Euro 2004 encounter, later adopting a pet llama at Basel zoo as a form of penance. Why a llama? The South American pack animals spit at rivals when provoked, of course. This actually happened.

Having sat out the entirety of qualification, there is a huge burden of expectations on the striker’s performances this summer. Swiss fans hope Frei can bite his tongue and get down to business this summer instead.

Manager: Ottmar Hitzfeld

Ottmar Hitzfeld will be, according to reports, the sixth highest-paid coach at South Africa this year, with a €1.75m contract besting even favourites Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque. Though such news may result in puzzled reactions of “Wait… what?” “How?” or “Fabio Capello’s €8m per year is €5m greater than the second spot?” it’s important to recall that Hitzfeld is a world-class tactician in his own right.

Only the second (of three after Mourinho recently) manager in history to win the European Cup/Champions League with two different sides (Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund), Hitzfeld has club experience in Switzerland as a player (FC Basel) and a manager (FC Aarau). His first foray in International management, it can be said that Ottmar has completed each task presented before him, including bypassing another notoriously tricky play-off junction, a prerequisite for the Swiss in the past.

Prediction: Group stage exit

They lost to Luxembourg. In Zurich. Luxembourg. We really can’t stress that enough. Even Honduras might fancy their chances against arguably the worst European side in the tournament. Hitzfeld may be an amazing manager but he can’t work miracles – group exit say us.

Odds: 200/1

Irishness rating: 6/10

Defeat to the Swiss in the closing ties of Euro 2004 qualification meant we had to slump to an eventual third position under former coach Brian Kerr. A 2005 0-0 draw with the Swiss during our World Cup 2006 qualifying was enough to signal to death knell for Kerr, as we missed out on even a play-off spot and even fell behind to Israel for fourth position. After a French handball in Paris, Ireland have at last found a new scapegoat after years of Swiss domination.

If they were a car they’d be…

A Globetrotter Eco. As (carbon) neutral as it gets. Enough said.