And there’s the final whistle! Mexico celebrate what is a cracking, historic victory from their point of view. Raymond is going to be hacked to bits in the press, as are the galaxy of stars which makes up the French team. Good stuff from the BBC: ‘France needed a helping hand to get into the World Cup, and now they need a helping hand to get out of the group.’
Uruguay and Mexico can now go into their final group game knowing that a draw will get the both of them into the final 16. That’s going to be a rough ‘oul game to watch. France meanwhile, look like they’ve had it. Their campaign has been cursed from the start. They look like they would rather be anywhere but there.
We’ve had another comment in to JOE.ie Towers:
“Aha! I’m ****ing delighted. France are a ****ing shower of ****ing ****s. The ****ing *****rds shouldn’t even be at the ****ing thing. Go on Mexico! Let the ****ers have it!”
Phil, Donegal.
Jesus Phil, don’t hold back. Tell us what you really think.
The Mexicans are shouting, ‘Olé!’ after every pass. I’ve joined in with them here in the office. The cleaning lady thinks I’m a lunatic but I don’t care. Olé baby, yeah!
France have less than 10 minutes of the game left to salvage something. They’ve been poor all night, I can’t see it happening. (tee hee!)
Abidal brought down Barrera and picks up a card for his troubles. He slid in late and made no contact with the ball! 37-year-old Blanco to take… 2-0!!!!!
Penalty Mexico!!!
Gignac blasted one high and wide and the French crowd started booing and jeering him for it. They are well and truly on their backs!
Frank in Mayo has been onto us – he reckons the announcer sounds like Darth Vader. Bang on the money! He’s frightened the crap out of me a couple of times.
France are making a substitution – Govou is off for Valbuena. Ray-Ray has only one sub left to play. France are trying to push up but the Mexicans have pace – they could hurt them on the break.
France need to get the finger out here or their World Cup will be a kick in the arse away from being over. Henry is just sitting on the bench sulking. He knows his team are a goal down with just over 20 minutes to play but he’s waiting there, in minus zero temperatures, for someone to tell him to warm up. Le cry baby!
Hernandez gets it – the French defence was static as Hernandez bursts forward onto a hopeful ball over the top. He was all alone with the keeper to beat but he kept his head. Dummied his shot, rounded the keeper and slotted it home. Get in there!
Goal Mexico!!!!!!!
Blanco has come on for Franco for Mexico. Make of that what you will.
“I’d love to know how many shots have gone over the bar in the WC so far. It couldn’t be down to poor shooting from players for all these ballooned efforts. It has to be that piece of sh*t ball they’re using. Anyone thinking the same? Good game so far tonight, more open than what we saw in first few days. Mexicans are the best supporters too, first time I’ve heard singing at the WC rather than those bloody vuvuzelas all the time.”
Don, Arklow.
You’ve hit on the two pet hates of every football fan there Don – vuvus and crap balls. A big 12th of July-style bonfire is in order when this tournament is over – pile the balls and vuvuzelas up and put a match to them. I’ll resist the temptation to suggest we might pop Henry on top.
Javier Hernandez has come on for Juarez, as France start pushing up the park. Hernandez has signed for United so it will be interesting to see if he’s money well spent.
Malouda picks it up at the edge of the box and shoots! Perez does well to push it over the bar. That was a great effort, it looked like it might drop over the keeper.
Mexico have a free 10 yard outside the French box. Sagna brought down Salcido. Dos Santos runs past the ball into the box and Juarez just chips it to him! Dos Santos’ ball into the centre was poor however.
Gignac has come on for Anelka. Any number of the French forward players might have been pulled off, there hasn’t been much from any of them. Thierry meanwhile is sitting on the bench wrapped in a blanket – probably thought he would get the nod for the second half. He looks like a manic depressive hobo.
What is the craic with Malouda’s hair? He looks like some sort of Jamaican drag queen. Anyway, the second half is underway!
France win another dubious free after Ribery runs down a blind alley and drops to the ground when he’s tackled. Anelka’s free bounces off the wall and Mexico go on the break! Until Toululan steps in and cuts down his man – very cynical. For that, he will miss the next game. And that’s the last action of the first half.
Powerful play by Franco – holds off his man under huge pressure from his marker. Somehow manages to play it across the edge of the box to Dos Santos! Shot goes wide. It was a great effort and looked like the keeper got a touch. French goal kick all the same. More grist for the Fifa/France/Orange Order conspiracy mill.
France have won a free 30 metres from the goal – Ribery to take… blasts into the wall. The rebound is sent back in and Malouda chases it down but it’s cleared away again.
Frank is back with us this evening:
“Come on you boys in green! (Mexico that is…) I have a bad feeling the French will sneak this one, i’m praying they don’t!
VIVA EL MEXICO!
Frank, Mayo.”
Viva indeed.
The announcer just confirmed the change with a creepy, booming, dalec-like voice. That lad would give you nightmares.
Malouda plays it out to Sagna who tries a cross – it’s blocked down and goes out for a French cross. Vela is done. He’s been replaced by Barrera.
Vela appears to have done his hamstring. That will be a loss if he has to be replaced. Mexico are down to 10 men for the moment and here come France!
Great run down the wing from Salcido – he’s skinned Sanga, he’s going all the way! Gallas is backing off him! He shoots! Great save by Lloris. Christ Almighty his defence hung him out to dry on that occassion.
Good work from Ribery down the right. Holds off two defenders, turns on a penny and whips in a cracking cross! He practically put it onto the head of Malouda in the six yard box – Osorio rose with him and did enough to put the Chelsea player off.
Keep the comments coming lads:
“I’ve put 50 quid on Mexico to beat France tonight, I’ll get 190 back in Paddy Powers tomorrow….I’m sure of it. French wan*ers. It’ll come full circle tonight. Come On Ire-ico!!!”
Mark, Limerick.
Ire-ico! Has a ring to it Mark, I like your work.
We’ve had another comment in from a reader:
“The Mexicans have started brightly, I think the French could be up against it here. If they don’t win this it could be there lot!â€
Cletus, Meath.
Strangely, you can actually hear the cheering and having the crack tonight – the vuvus are not as plentiful as they were. Is this a sign that the South Africans are losing interest?
Great pace about this game, end-to-end stuff here. This could be a good one! France burst forward with Sagna and Anelka dropping deep to collect. France moving it around well.
I was about to have a sly sandwich and then saw a close-up shot of Ribery’s face on our Hi-Def TV. I’m not hungry any more.
Perez, Mexico’s goal-keeper, is the smallest in the tournament at 5 foot 7 inches. He seems a bit nervy actually – he’s chosen to punch twice in the last five minutes when he could have caught.
The pace of Vela and Dos Santos are causing problems for the French. It’s a wide-open game so far, lots of space being afforded to forward players of both sides.
The ref is an oddball. He just told one of the players to roll his sleeves down! He loves his whistle, can’t keep the thing out of his mouth. I bet he has a name for it (her).
Franco makes a real attempt to get the ball in a challenge and conceeds a free kick. Ref was way off on that one. And now he’s given him a yellow! Anelka takes the free, a good 30 yards out, but blasts it high and wide.
Dos Santos picks up the ball on the left, cuts inside and lets one go! Off the post! Flag was up in any case for off-side. Still a chance all the same.
Torrado and Juarez meanwhile are on yellows for Mexico. And we’re off! Mexico are in green tops with white shorts and socks. If you squint you can pretend they’re Ireland!
Toulalan, Ribery and Evra are all on yellow cards – with a bit of luck they will pick up another and their World Cup will end tonight. Christ I’m bitter.
Ouch – the crowd errupted into boos when the announcer introduced the French anthem. Like proper booing. Patrice ‘I’ll-give-Ireland-a-replay-on-my-Playstation Evra balled his eyes out during the Marseillaise. Because everyone hates him.
The camera just gave us a close-up shot of the ball and that thing never ate grass – it’s a lump of plastic!
The first ever World Cup game was played 80 years ago – and it was France v Mexico. France ran out 4-0 winners.
The comments are starting to flow – and Mexico have just been handed an extra incentive:
“First Mexican to score against France gets a go of my sister.â€
Dave, Swords.
The stats don’t make kind reading for Mexico/Ireland. Mexico have never beaten France in six attempts. France have won five and drawn one.
Some early controversy on the tracker – we’ve had an anonymous Francophile-type comment:
“I’m the Renault Clio owner from next door. I think you are the guy that has the French flag hanging out his window. Come on, admit it.”
A shocking slur on my good name, mystery commentator. You can be guillotined for eating a Cuisine de France breakfast roll these days for Christ sake, you would want to be mental to brandish a flag in public.
You may have noticed that there is no place in the starting line-up for France’s top goal scorer and dream-wrecker-in-chief Thierry Henry. Vava-voom your way over to that bench son. If he comes on and scores tonight I’m burning out my next door neighbour’s Renault Clio.
Just a reminder that you can send comments in to us at shout@joe.ie and we will include them in our tracker. While we wouldn’t normally publish comments from readers which contain vicious ad hominem abuse, we will be making an exception on this occasion. Vent those spleens.
Here’s how the teams should look:
France: Lloris, Sagna, Gallas, Abidal, Evra, Malouda, Ribery, Govou, Toulalan, Diaby, Anelka.
Mexico: Perez, Salcido, Rodriguez, Marquez, Osorio, Moreno, Vela, Torrado, Juarez, Dos Santos, Hernandez.
France’s pitiful opening game of the tournament was a joy to watch in a dark kind of way – a lot like seeing a talented sibling fail at something. Stay right here to find out if Mexico will gift us any further opportunities to point and laugh.
