You have the girl, you have the life. All you want to do now is keep it. But why do we men manage to constantly screw it all up? JOE.ie continues its weekly preventatives to keep that woman of yours happy. This week we’re dealing with the subject of affection. The telling, the giving and most importantly, the showing.
Here’s the scenario. You’re in bed with your girl. You’ve been groping her here and there, the odd lick of her neck, a squeeze of her arse – all for no more than five minutes. The pre-set alarm clock in your head shrills to tell you, “Now lad, off you go about your business.â€
So, you whip off your jocks and before she knows it the game is over. In your view, you’ve done your work. Satisfied yourself and made yourself believe she enjoyed it too. However, there’s always that hidden truth pushed way back in your mind – she didn’t climax, fully enjoy it and might possibly have felt uncomfortable with the sense of urgency you cast over the whole endeavour.
Good sex
What is vital to remember here is that sex should not be a process. A woman wants and needs to be worked up, teased and satisfied. If we’re honest about it there is an underlying current inside us all that wants to achieve each of these goals. We do want to please. The problem is controlling our own raw, natural instincts to get the job done.
However difficult it may seem once you become aroused you need to slow down and begin with foreplay, under or over the sheets. Affection equates to foreplay – and foreplay means good sex. Good sex for you. And good sex for her.
Try to think like her – even for a few minutes. She probably doesn’t want to be grabbed and groped as if you were still a 14-year-old testosterone-filled stag. Try massaging her back, head and feet once in a while. Basic affection outgivings such as these can be key to connecting on a deeper level which will in turn mean greater rewards for both of you.
Rule of thumb
Outside of the bedroom affection is equally as important to her. In public places she wants her man to fend off competitors with an occasional grasp around the hip or grip of the hand. Don’t overdo it however – constantly holding her hand, smothering her with bear hugs and going in for a snog every five minutes will make you look insecure and needy.
The rule of thumb is to show her affection as well as giving it. Offer to pick her mother up from the train station, talk with her friends like you’re really interested in their lives and give her attention when someone she feels is important is in the vicinity. Indirectly, this kind of behaviour will prove to her you are the man that gives of himself. Unselfish acts.
Finally, every girl wants to be told they are loved and not just during, before or after sex. Spontaneously tell her that you love her. When she’s feeling low or when you’re heading out for a big night. It will set the tone for the end-of-night events. The three little words lose meaning when over-used so hold them in reserve for the right moment. Catch her off gaurd – the right moment can sometimes be the most unlikely moment.
