Aaaaaaaaall-righty then!
JOE sometimes wonders what our life would be like if we based our decisions around the teachings of Jim Carrey’s iconic character.
Which one?
Well, today is the 21st birthday of the Hawaiian shirt-wearing, bullet-biting, arse-speaking, animal-loving Ace Ventura.
Here are 15 life lessons that Ace taught us and they’re all re-hehehehehehehe-alllllly important.
1) Delivery men just don’t care
Said in our best Brad Pitt from Se7en voice, “What’s in the booooooooox?!?!”
2) Always get paid for doing a decent job
It also helps if your employer is reeeeeeeall friendly.
3) A sense of style goes a long way
We based our fashion and hair style around this man. In a word, slick.
4) A good recommendation can help
This entire passage is gold:
Roger Podactor: Nice to meet you Ace, you were highly recommended by Martha Metz.
Ace Ventura: Martha Metz? Oh, yeah, the bitch.
Podactor: What?!?!
Ventura: Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. Is that the tank? Excuse me.
5) Most landlords are the devil
A perfectly applicable description for those Irish landlords that are exploitative and assholey towards their tenants.
6) Only drink from the toilet in moderation
Do NOT go in there.
7) It’s all psychological, just got to stay in a positive state of mind
This scene is almost as impressive to watch in rewind.
8) Some people really talk through their ass
He never did get that mint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJgWq_kSR9w
9) The police know nothing
JOE celebrates in the same way after writing an article.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuhPPOXnyKo
10) Cleanliness is important
Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle. FYI: We shower just like this very extreme parody of The Crying Game.
11) One of the ‘Friends’ actually made a decent film
Passive aggressive behaviour at its best here but we’ll never agree with Ace’s description of Monica Melissa.
12) Crapping yourself in public is perfectly fine
How Jim Carrey manages to say all these lines without taking a breath is beyond us.
13) Laces are always out
It really was all that damn Dan Marino’s fault. Is it weird that this scene freaked us out as kids?
14) In Superbowl week, spare a thought for the losers
15) Fighting a mascot in public is a fantastic idea
It’s OK though because he really loves animals… he did want that bird though.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ podcast – listen to the latest episode now!
