A Kerry man claims he was “bribed” by the promise of his mother’s prized bacon and cabbage dinner in order to go and cut her lawn.
In an event that actually happened, as opposed to the kind of thing you’d normally read from these lads, Donal Cosgrave was arrested for breaking a barring order imposed on him on July 1st.
Cosgrave, from Rathmore in East Kerry, claims he did not breach an order not to enter his mother’s home and ate his dinner on the back porch before cutting the grass for her.
He was even willing to produce the pair of shoes with the grass still on them, presumably in the hope that the lads from CSI might come over and exonerate him.
According to the Irish Times, Cosgrave was under a court order not to attend the home of his mother but he claims she asked him to go over and cut the grass, offering to cook him his favourite dinner.
He claims it was, effectively, a bribe as nobody could be expected to resist his mother’s cooking.
“Was the bacon and cabbage to be given before or after the grass cutting?” Judge James O’Connor enquired.
Mr Cosgrave said it was “before”. He said: “You have to have a full stomach for hard work… I did not enter the house, I ate the bacon and cabbage on the back porch.
“I did not go into the house.”
There were accoutrements too.
“And mom gave me some mustard, and a little bit of dessert,” Cosgrave, who is originally from the United States, added.
He did not specify what the dessert in question was, as it was not particularly relevant to the case.
We like to think it was a cut of apple tart.
Judge O’Connor adjourned the case to the 21st of July and warned Cosgrave’s solicitor that he was to stay away from his mother’s house, bacon and cabbage or no bacon and cabbage.
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