04/07 Your Morning JOE

Jobs crisis x 3, World Cup court pizzas, horrendous stomach cysts and the end of Diego Maradona – all in Sunday’s Morning JOE.

The Front Pages

Just what the country needed at the end of a week when we were officially deemed to be out of recession – the Sunday papers tell us that 4000 jobs are to be axed at three of the countries’ biggest employers.

“Nightmare for jobs as Eircom to shed 2000” – Sunday Independent
“BoI and AIB to cut 2000 jobs” – Sunday Tribune

The Sunday Independent describes the eircom jobs development as “a devastating blow that will heap further pressure on Brian Cowen just days after the Government claimed the recession is over.”

The report claims that the mass redundancy package to be proposed by the telecommunications giant as the biggest since the start of the downturn three years ago.

In a morning of stupefyingly worrying employment news, the Sunday Tribune’s lead is an eerie parallel of the Sindo, reporting that the same number of jobs will be slashed by the country’s two biggest banks.

Bank of Ireland will announce plans to cut 1000 jobs, equating to 10 per cent of its workforce, in the coming weeks while AIB are considering similar cuts which are expected to take place in September.

Away from jobs, the Sunday Times leads with a story about the dissatisfaction in governing party Fianna Fail. “Rebellion at all-time high in FF” hollers the headline above a story which tells us that four party representatives – Cork TD Christy O’Sullivan and Senators Labhras O Murchu, Jim Walsh and John Hanafin – could be stripped of the party whip if, as planned, they oppose the Government’s Civil Rights Partnership (O Murchu, Walsh and Hanafin) and Dog Breeding Establishment (O’Sullivan) bills this week.

The Irish Daily Star Sunday leads with a story that will be of interest to all followers of sport and League of Ireland supporters in particular.

It says that the life of Shamrock Rovers’ former Leeds United and Republic of Ireland youth international Robert Bayly is under threat from the same Ballyfermot gang which murdered brothers Paul and Kenneth Corbally last week.

Tales From The Tabs

What do you get if you’re charged with possession of marijuana at a World Cup match? Well, if you’re Paris Hilton, the answer is nothing but a few slices of pizza.

Hilton was arrested for possession of the drug at the World Cup quarter-final between Brazil and Holland in Port Elizabeth on Friday afternoon.

According to the Irish Daily Star Sunday, the Hollywood heiress attended a special World Cup court in the city on Saturday morning, when she was provided with some pizza by thoughtful attendants before the charges were withdrawn by the State.

Hilton’s pal Jennifer Rovero, a 31-year-old New York mother of two which the paper describes as “a former Playboy Playmate”, pleaded guilty to the offence with the penalty being either 30 days in prison or a €110 fine. It’s believed that Rovero was able to stump up the necessary cash to avoid a month in the slammer.

A page or two further in there’s a story which just has to be seen to be believed: the giant stomach cyst which Grzegorz Mylnarski now sports as a result of a Dublin street attack three years ago.

The 33-year-old, known as Greg, was stabbed four times and kicked by a gang while he lay on the ground during the attack in Tallaght, Dublin in February 2007.

Major medical complications have meant that the Polish national has been left with a massive intestinal septic cyst and a 12-inch surgical scar.

The Sports Pages

All the papers lead with the events in Cape Town on Saturday afternoon where Diego Maradona’s Argentina, so impressive during the first three weeks of the World Cup, came a cropper in spectacular fashion against Germany.

The Sunday Independent goes with “‘Kick in face’ spells end for Maradona”, while the Irish Daily Star Sunday opts for the more succinct “Mara-goner”.

To all intents and purposes, both stories have the same angle, which is that Maradona will follow Brazil boss Dunga into unemployment after the end of his World Cup dream. It’s a disappointing development for Irish football fans, with the prospect of a sadly Maradona-less Argentina visiting the new Aviva Stadium for an international friendly in a little over a month’s time.

While a picture of Thomas Muller dominates the front page of the Sunday Times sports supplement, the sidebar story is more interesting.

With Jamie Carragher having announced his retirement from international football for the second time this weekend, a few more of England’s underachieving squad – possibly including Chelsea trio John Terry, Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole – could also absent themselves from Fabio Capello’s squad in future.

Astonishingly, the report claims that those three discussed their international future ahead of the World Cup second round game against Germany last week while recently-appointed captain Steven Gerrard also considered his England future before opting to commit himself for the time being at least.